As I sat in the marriage counselor's office months ago (feels like a lifetime) she asked me what I wanted.
"I want relationship to feel sacred. I want to feel held as sacred."
She turned to my husband and said, "She wants you to pay attention to her. Notice her."
No...that's not what I said. SACRED. One definition of which is "regarded as too valuable to be interfered with."
Every day in my line of work, I interface with women who are coming to a realization that they are sacred. I often say to them, "Know that you are sacred." What does that mean? To me it means that there is a holiness about every woman that has everything to do with her mystery, her magic, her receptiveness, her likeness to a vessel, her creativity, her fertility, her nurturing ways that come from invisible sources of Love. A sacred relationship might look like one in which a real or imaginary altar containing precious symbols of love and friendship rests upon it.
Sacredness within is a birthright. It is not to be questioned or judged. Check in with your body right now: Do you feel it in your bones? Do you trust it?
I struggle with the patriarchy. It's not a secret I keep. When ancient goddess culture faded, so did the sacredness of Woman. The balance has not been restored, and I am energized with the work of women who are working to restore it. Having a daughter, I realize that I want her to know what it feels like to be sacred in body, mind and spirit. She will live in her humanness, just as we all do, and I don't resent that for a moment. But deep knowing goes a long way. And a long way we have come away from it.
What does holding Woman sacred look like?
How can we come to honor ourselves without society's or anyone's influence, but in a way that will ripple out, as all soulwork which we commit to does?
Journeywork has been my most effective tool for receiving medicine about myself, mankind, the Earth, and my place here. When I am unkind to myself, or forget, I turn on a form of remembering, by going down into my own depths to retrieve the ancient memories. I love to drum for women who wish to do the same for themselves.
This past week at Squam by the Sea, fifteen women were circled and drummed into a remembering state. I do believe that what it takes for any of us to feel sacred is simply the desire to remember. That we can give to ourselves with no outside help at all.