Pink Coyote

I don't know where the time goes.  The days look so different now that I am working and a parent.  I don't think I realized how things like writing blogs and reading blogs would fall to the wayside, among other things.  The funny thing is that I blog in my head every day!  I will lie awake writing about my day or about a miraculous moment.  When I never get around to putting it here, I feel somehow like a part of that moment becomes lost in the flurry.  This format has become like a little photo journal of motherhood and creativity, airing my laundry and sharing plans for the future.  It is sometimes difficult to just let my blog float around unattended out here in cyberspace, knowing that I'm not keeping up on it.  Somehow just sitting in the discomfort of the things I can't get to is good medicine for me.  Being quiet with uncomfortable feelings is something I don't love.  This must be a big reason why at times I've filled my clock up with people and events and work and all of those consuming things. 

I am still doing too much.  I've got a retreat in April, one in May, a vision quest in June, a proper vacation in September, and clients who wish I was working more.  I don't practice what I'm preaching to all of them, which is to slow down!  I do try. It seems weeding in the garden is never done. I'm noticing what comes up for me when I put the brakes on everything.  The stillness makes me anxious.  A fear that I'm missing out on something or that life might just very well pass me by occurs to me.  Or lonely feelings from my childhood creep in, coupled with a boredom I don't fully understand, but it feels like life isn't working and that I must do something to make it work. 

Doing healing work has a surprisingly grounding effect on me in the middle of all of this "doing". While I'm working, I feel like the hands on the clock are moving slower.  Do you ever feel like this?  That when you are doing a work you are meant to do, that you are suspended in time?  Though the physical labor part of it exhausts me by days end, I feel of great value in my community and I come home to put my babe to bed feeling fulfilled.  Right now, I have time for little else (besides retreating with women, apparently).  Some items on my life list must wait for a while before I can nurture them into giant sunflowers, as now is a time to keep my nose to the grindstone and my eye on the prize.

Out West...

That is my little Miles trudging through the tundra "by self, Mama".

We have some righteous nature, sisters and brothers.  You can gaze up the skirt of a giant redwood, snowboard fresh powder or surf gigantic waves, all within a few hours of Wherever, California.  Friday we wandered up the Sierras a few hours to Mammoth Lakes to stay with friends and play in the snow.  B & K boarded while the girls drank chip shots by the fire and occasionally ventured out for snowy shenanigans.  It was such a relaxing weekend of wowing and aweing at the snow covered peaks lingering at 14,000 feet high. K & J volunteer on the mountain, find out more about the program here. 

We ate the best American junk food on the planet in their company-chicken enchiladas and Mahi tacos at Roberto's, white spinich pizza from Mic & Willies and mouthwatering beanburgers and fries at Burgers.  I ate more than I might for the rest of the week.

I feel full, recharged and ready for more fair weather adventures.

Bridge in Independence, CA.

Hankie the Healing Dog

You may remember him as my better half from the napcake days.  My old guy gives good snuggle.

Little Things

Hello, there.  It's been a little while.  My family and I have been off on more adventures, some exciting and creative and some tiring.  The superflu hit last week and took us down.  We're still coughing, but feeling much better.  Is it my imagination or are flus and colds getting harder to beat these days?  So much is swimming in the creative recesses, and I'm excited to tell you but I also like keeping things close to my heart right now, as my absence here sort of indicates.  I've never been a private person, but for some reason, I just don't feel like going into the details much lately.  I'm not sure why.  I've been working with armadillo medicine this new year and becoming aware of some armor that was so comfortable and lightweight I hardly knew I was wearing it!  My soul work keeps going deeper and deeper.  Striving to be conscious of what I do and why is not unique to me.  I see and hear that people everywhere are giving birth to new consciousness.  In my own little way, I love knowing that my family is changing, too.  Since Christmas, all sorts of little shifts are taking place around here.  I darned my own socks for the first time ever.  Patched some clothes that I might have ordinarily thrown out.  I made teas, baths and steam bowls from plants when we were sick. Some I made first time medicinal friends with, like yarrow and catnip.  We stopped buying shampoo and conditioner in plastic bottles and started using bar shampoo, which was strange at first, but now feels fine.  Little things need to change sometimes, too. 

I had a dream of a white bear recently, speckled with blue and cinnamon.  It was chasing me through a junkyard and I was carrying Miles and making many narrow escapes.  I finally climbed a giant pile of scrap metal to a high place where I could see everything below and the bear was much too big to reach us.  Making changes feels like this to me. I get to a point where I shove myself forward and then later I might be able to survey what I left behind with a little objectivity.  Hopefully.

Rainy Day Tea Party

Totemania

"You cannot have too many tote bags" --Lotta Jansdotter

Thank god someone finally said it.

Number 2 measures 13"x14" and I will use it to carry to work because ALL of my stuff including my appointment book fits.  I used canvas that I washed about 4 times for the bottom panel since I beat my things up and my car is generally dusty all the time.  I also created a ton of shortcuts so I can whip one of these out in an hour or so.

Here is a little 8x9 that is perfect for M to carry his many trains in.  "Mama make Miles owl bag," finally resulted in some action.  Tote #3 was the fastest yet.  And I think the most fun because of it's cuteness factor and the fact that M was milling about my feet picking up threads and talking with me as I sewed.

Drinking so much Mighty Leaf that I should have about 50 totes by the end of the day if I keep it up.  Green Tea Tropical is my pick today-since quitting coffee I've found a new vice that lights me up almost as much but without the muddy feeling java left me with.  Mighty Leaf does not fill their silky biodegradable mesh bags with tea dust, but rather with proper looking loose-leaf tea and flowers.  Pretty!

How are you? 

Tote-ally

I am crafting up a storm.  Recycling the hub's old jeans, you name it.  Got one of these babies from Santa.  Can't stop.  People I share my life with are beginning to wonder why I don't come to bed anymore! 

This is my favorite ribbon to date and this is my next fabric purchase.  I've not been moved by Japanese textiles until now, I'm not really into cutesy.  But they seem to be getting really interesting lately.  It's like Japanese-Scandinavian lovechildren.  I can't get enough. 

M played his ukelele that we got him in Hawaii for us at bedtime last night.  He sang "Puff the Magic Dragon" many, many times.  I'm not coming close to keeping up with all of the mindblowing things he says and does.  I'm now entering with full membership into the phase known as Where Does the Time Go? parenting as we'd been warned of, cousin to the wistful, They Grow So Fast....

Circling

I met with my mountain circle this weekend for our quarterly pilgrimage inward and into nature, and my heart always comes back feeling so full.  I LOVE retreats.  It is the way I  most love to formally recharge.  Each new year I make lists of how I plan to take care of myself better so that I'm a happier mom & partner, better bodyworker, savvier businessperson, fulfilled artist...often the lists include eating more whole foods, planning more creative excursions, taking workshops from people I admire and want to learn from and stretching my comfort zone in all areas of my life.  I find that retreating with women-for a day or for a week at a time-gives me the longest lasting and most inspiring results to step forward into my world with.  A shaman brings medicine to the tribe after journeying into the outer realms of consciousness for information and guidance.  When I come back from time away, I always feel like I've grown in some sacred way.  I always learn something valuable about myself and those I'm circling with.  I've come to rely on this time with other women.  I'm pretty sure my life depends on it.

Full Swing

We're back in the swing of things in the den and enjoying the bursting creativity the new year always brings.  We're painting, sewing, cutting up paper, drawing and making a general mess of things.

I'm on quarterly retreat this weekend in the mountains and hope to bring back pictures of ecstatic skirts swirling and half-filled wine glasses.

Wishing you deep and honest self-expression today...

Reflect and Wish

 

As the sun sets on 2007, and this wild ride of a year draws to a close, I feel grateful.  What a tremendous year of abundance, healing, adventures and manifestations of dreams. 

This year Miles weaned, walked, ran, talked, grew through four shoe sizes, flew round trip three times, made his first painting, got a big boy bed, went to his first real movie in the theatre and ate popcorn, learned to swim (and well, I might add!), took his first trip to ER, and generally amazed us by growing sweeter than pie.  He went from being a baby to a big boy, something he'll be for many years before his next major transition.  We feel so blessed to be a part of his life.

My hope for the new year is that I relax more, stress less, get more done with less energy used, grow an amazing garden, and I also wish to consume less with much more consciousness.  My vision is to create, create, create and continue healing myself and others.  I would also like to find my people in this town!

Four babies will be born this year in my circle, and my hope for them and their mommies and daddies is that they arrive safely and happily-that the bonds created between them in this precious first year keep them going when parenting gets tough.

I want creative abundance for B and I, wonder and adventure for Miles, and healing for the planet and the hearts of people everywhere.  May your '08 promise fulfilled dreams and deep connections.

Happy New Year, bloggiespere, from the coyotes.  Aaahhhoooooooooo!

Eleventh Hour Wishlist

Hark! It's upon us! 

If you are running behind with shopping and are desperate for a few ideas, here are some last moment goodies that may save your Christmas keister:

Wee Babes: Organic *anything* is nice for the weans because their little skins and bodies don't like chemicals.  Nui booties are not cheap, but make a super sweet gift.  If you are the crafting type, felt your own!  My favorite source for wool top (roving) is The Yarn Tree in Brooklyn, because they're so flippin' nice.  Pair I felted for friend's babe:

I would have been all over this bunting, had I known about it when M was born.

Kid Over 2: This cool chalkboard placemat is Made in USA by a company called Chalk A Doodle (I can't say it without crowing).  The eraser is recycled wool and it comes with 4 pieces of dustless chalk.  I love the folks at Pokkadots, too.  Just dang sweet people.  No time to ship?  No money to buy?  Make it yourself by spray painting chalkboard paint onto a lightweight surface such as illustration board or Masonite.  Create the eraser by cutting a 4 x 6 square out of your least favorite wool sweater (or thrift store find) and wash it in a hot water cycle with regular laundry soap.  Instant felted wool eraser.  Reckon you'll have to go buy some chalk. Also, the album What Kind of Cat Are You? will drive the 2-6 set wild.

EnviroMan: Just Soap is a company anyone can love.  The creator designed a bike contraption to pedal and mix his large batches of soap.  Brilliant! Human powered!  More efficient than Santa and no pesky reindeer to clean up after.  The coyotes love Lemongrass Ginger for a scent that suits girlies, as well as boys.  We are intrigued by the shampoo bars and plan to try them next-I can't think of a better idea than eliminating all of the plastic bottles that shampoo and conditioner come in.  This water bottle solves all of the plastic, aluminum (evil SIGG), nalgene issues of our day.  With one for him and one for you, you can get on with things more fun than searching for the perfect bloody water bottle!

Host/Hostess/Special Lady Friend: These candles from Something Wicked are wickedly guiltless, especially if you live on the West Coast and don't have far to ship (think cruel fuel).  We've been burning "Hannah" (Fig Apricot) all week and the scent is intoxicating without being headachey.  They are thoughtfully poured into reuseable + recyclable glass, made of soy (no black paraffin lungs) with hemp wicks, toxin-free, and are packaged in deliciously recycled paper boxes (sturdy enough to have a second life as a cute and yummy-smelling storage box).  Lovely Jill Roy, creator, beloved Angeleno, and handpourer scores points for fighting global warming and gets one tiny spanking for using a teensy amount of synthetic fragrance to achieve the fruity part of the sniffins.  If she can live with herself, I can, too.

eGifts: Elf Yourself is the funniest thing I've ever seen.  When I received this gift from my girl, Julie, I almost peed.  Spread holiday joy and crack up your friends.  They'll forget that you didn't send them a fruitcake.

And,

If You Still Have to Buy for Me: Wink...

Wednesday Post Script: To SIGG or not to SIGG

I've been receiving some feedback about the water bottle issue and the comments of this post reveal some concerns and thoughts from a few well-doers.  Here is my final prattle on the matter which I tried to post as a comment but Typepad doesn't love me tonite:

I have been reading all night about bottles, bottles and more bottles.  What I'm hearing is SIGG asked Environmental Working Group and Organic Consumers Association earlier this year to remove the SIGG water bottle from their warning lists.  Both have done so, but it seems to me that they still have questions but aren't quite saying why yet.  SIGG has said (I'm paraphrasing, of course) their bottles do NOT leach at all, ever, the harmful hormone disruptor known as BPA *bisphenol A* from the linings of the bottles. 

SIGG will not release the content or manufacturing process details about their "micro epoxy" linings (born of petrochemicals, as all plastics are) because they want to maintain their "competitive edge".  EWG tested SIGGs for 3 days the tests showed no signs of BPA, but I hear that community making talk of the bottles wearing down and "leaching over time" and consumers not being able to see if there is internal damage to the lining when cleaning, which would definitely indicate leaching of the plastic lining components, not to mention the aluminum. 

A lot of effort goes into producing SIGG, in inks, printing & manufacturing the fancy decorative exteriors that have such great marketing appeal, mining of aluminum, etc.  I also hear consumers saying that the exteriors chip and dent when you drop the bottles, so what happens to the interior when that occurs? 

In favor of stainless steel, though the mining process is also intensive, is that it is the most recyclable material in the world- in fact over 80% of cars in the US are recycled, meaning my very own SS bottle could be the '74 Nova my parents drove when I was a kid!  I like SIGG's general ideas for fair trade and all of that alleged goodliness (w!), I wish they made a plain SS version with no fancy-energy-sucking frills.  I can paint my own dang bottle!

But seriously, my vote still goes for food-grade stainless steel (watch out for cheapies, they are out there!).  And I'm a product, design and packaging whore, so you can imagine how difficult it is for me to be so puritanical on such a matter.  EWG said it best when they said, "SIGG is an aluminum-bottle manufacturer with excellent publicity."

You can't recycle SIGG because of all that is in/on it vs. the plain Klean Kanteen (available everywhere, such as Amazon, GreenFeet.com).  My bone of contention is that SIGG is mfd in Switzerland (smaller eco footprint, yet still far to ship) and the damned KK is mfd in China-if you know me, you know I've begun to boycott China when possible.  If you use the tap to fill your bottles, you must always remember to clean them thoroughly-another problem I have with SIGG is you can't risk getting them too hot inside ....eeeeegad....(I run the hottest tap water my faucet will produce to sterilize my bottle and I can put it in the d/w, too)

I have to add that I think the best best best thing ever is to just drink from a glass or ceramic mug.  Easy to do at home and just take your water container out with you, reducing your *risk of the unknown*!  Enough fearmongering already...time to get back into the holiday spirit of pretending mass consumption is a healthy obsession. :)

(Whoops! Sorry for the weird link to funky eyelash girl! My Gina G is a potter, not a Get Up and Dance diva!-link fixed)

http://www.enviroblog.org/2007/05/ask-ewg-i-am-looking-for-a-saf.htm
http://greenerpenny.blogspot.com/2007/08/bye-bye-bpa.html
http://www.ewg.org/node/21491

Counting Down Molasses

When I was little, the adults used to say that someone was "As slow as Christmas", or "Slow as molasses" to indicate the obvious.  To a kid, waiting for Christmas to come is sweet torture.  I didn't want it to really arrive because then it would be over and the hideous, long, cold month of January would be on the other side of it.  But the anticipation of presents and people and food were impossible not to long for impatiently! 

Here at the coyote compound, we are getting ready for the holidays by tearing into boxes from faraway loved ones and putting mysterious packages under the tree, working overtime in the workshop with increasingly demanding elves, standing in line at the post office, drinking Broguieres eggnog with brandy, watching the Grinch almost every day or night at you-know-who's request, talking excitedly about the New Year and doing a lot of smooching even though the mistletoe hasn't made it up yet.

In a few days, I'll be posting a fun list of last minute gift ideas you can buy or make with an environmental or recyclable element.  If you have a brilliant idea for a handmade gift you've had success with this year, email me and I'll include it! 

No Worries!

We dorks are okay-but thank you to all of you who have been expressing concern about us falling off the planet lately. 

To know me is to experience that I get wrapped up in my own little world and disappear for chunks of time.  A friend once told me that Pixie was the perfect name for me because I buzz and flit in and out of her life, sprinkling some quick fairy dust and then onto the next adventure.  I always come back, but when I'm out on a journey, you may not hear from me for a while!

We're enjoying a second breakfast of quiche, stinky cheese (cave-aged, paper wrapped greyere from Trader Joe's) and an apple and thinking of YOU!

Be Who You Are

"What blocks most people from manifesting their dreams in life is their fear of being who they are.  Sometimes this is a fear of non-acceptance from others.  Sometimes it is a fear of failing.  Sometimes it is simply because their whole life has conditioned them to live in a manner entirely alien to who they really are. 

Once you 'be' who you are, then you must do what is necessary to be you."

--Ted Andrews, Animal Speak

We Gather

Just a little conversation can begin a revolution.  Speaking from inside of ourselves or out loud with someone we know, we all have the seed lying in the center of our beings for love, transformation and growth.  When birthed into words, that which moves us from our centers can manifest into movement.

I love to gather.  I especially love to gather to honor women, and I leapt at the opportunity to assemble a small group of moms to initiate a dear friend into the mothership circle.  What began as a subtle, spoken yearning by Keri to be surrounded by "mama energy" before the birth of her son culminated in an amazing, whirlwind weekend of food, fall color, mommies and babes in Woodstock, NY.

I'm beginning to be at a loss for words, so visit Wendy who found a beautiful song that I think describes what happens when we gather perfectly.

What stands out for me most of all, is the mighty courage it takes for women to fly and drive great distances to support another woman in her rites of passage, and how this is a lost practice in our culture that is making a comeback.  It might be easy for someone to shy away from other women or artists for fear of being judged or thinking that they may not have much to bring or offer others.  Nevertheless, women are sitting on floors and couches, on the earth and on the chairs of their ancestors with each other, sharing stories, fears, and finding their voices.

We must all keep having the conversations, sending out the smoke signals for support when we need it, asking for what we want, listening for the drumbeat, and answering the call to quest.

Here's to four amazing mothers, two curious boys, one brilliantly growing seed, and two that are being dreamed of today.  You are all brave and shining. 

   

"If the world is to be healed through human efforts, I am convinced that it will be by ordinary people, people whose love for this life is even greater than their fear.  People who can open to the web of life that called us into being, and who can rest in the vitality of that larger body." --Joanna Macy

Lone Wolf Weekend... missing my pack

Greetings everyone! This is the 'B' Pixie sometimes refers to.  I will be your 'Guest Poster' this evening ('Blogjacker' just didn't sound right).

As I write this my two snuggle-bugs are hopefully sleeping soundly in Virginia after their long drive from the Catskills today. It sounds like they had a most excellent adventure!

Out west I've had a few days completely to myself - which always sounds like a great time for a little R & R... and to catch up on that old sleep defecit I can never seem to shake. But, alas, I end up taking on project after project, attempting to burn through that haunting list in my mind and finally get organized. I'm not complaining, it gives me something to do and I take pleasure in knowing that I might have made it a little bit nicer for my family's return. I did compromise and spent the evenings relaxing with some movie rentals and playing my guitar (and maybe a Guiness or two slipped into the mix somewhere - 'Brilliant!'). I also found a really cool teepee for Miles at a thrift store ($10 american!) that I've set up in the living room. I can't wait to see his face on Tuesday morning!

Over all it's been nice... and productive, but I miss those two cheeky monkeys and can't wait to have them in my arms again!

As I look at their picture I am completely aware of how lucky I am.

Give yours a good hug tonite, and if you're rolling solo give yourself one.

Cheers,

B