Pink Coyote

Rest in the Nest

I don't think anything could have prepared me for feeling as tired as parenthood has made me feel.  I've never been one to be able to burn the candle at both ends for too long without feeling it, but lately I feel I could go to sleep for days.  My fantasy is that my dreams would work through all of my mental quandries and I would wake up feeling refreshed and recharged.

Working as a massage therapist means that I deliver much-needed rest and healing to others, which is a strong declaration for anyone once they claim that service for themselves, don't you think?

I think being an older mom means that I don't have the energy these twenty-something moms have (Nina).  This makes it really difficult for me to decide whether to have another baby, which is on my mind a lot lately, too.  I can't imagine feeling this tired three or four years from now!  Miles usually sleeps through the night in his room and has been doing this pretty consistently for nearly a year.  I feel like I need to pay back the deficit from all of the moving, travelling and sick nights back in the summer. 

I have got to take this season to slow down.  I think I need to strategize. Do you know of any tricks I might try? Here are some things I thought I could do to try to recharge myself:

*Do less.

*Make fewer plans at night and on weekends.

*Hire a housekeeper.

*Eat power foods.

*Cook for the upcoming week on weekends.

*Take my vitamins instead of letting them rot on the shelves.

*Exercise.  Hello!

*Try to sleep in one day on the weekend.

I'm sure there is an antiquated copy of Women's Day magazine lying around in a local thrift store that has all of the answers.  That would be too easy.  Send your amazing magical remedies my way and help a Pixie out.

My Boy Wonder

Parenting is not exactly getting easier as it goes on.  There are tantrumy thingies, sleepless nights, coughs I don't know how to get rid of, an echo of "Out, out out" following me everywhere I go, having to hear the same song or video "Aho, aho" (which means "again, again") ninety six times in a day, grouchy car rides, and now-drumroll.....potty training.  We had two turds on the floor just Sunday.

And then moments like this:

of rogue plague rats on a pirate ship

of pennies in a favorite fountain

and of caped crusading away from me

and all of the challenging things fade away.  They won't ever matter a bit.

Smart

This picture is for W who thinks no one besides her family has Smart Hair.  Well we are smart, too, Wendy!  I score 1400 on the Hair SATs, sister, with a guinness number of cowlicks on just this one head of mine.  I'm betting there are more of you out there than are admitting, so fess up and fly your morning hairdos on your blogs.

A good friend of mine who has not had an easy time of staying pregnant is sailing with flying colors through her 10th week with great measurements and strong heartbeats.  I have to shout my joy out about how thrilled I am for she and her superhubs.  Stars are finally aligning for two more people who really deserve to be parents.  To any of you struggling right now, I say, hang in there dears.  Hope springs.

She recently gave me some bath bombs from Lush and this one is my all time favorite-yummy!!  I'm burning through them like Santa Barbara wildfire.

I've been working on reidentifying with what I do for a living because I think I get lost in all of the things I do for fun and forget about building my business.  I know only a little about marketing but am having fun creating little goodie bags for my clients and educating them about self-care.  I started a new little blog for locals and those who already see me at the spa.  I do declare I'm having a dandy time. 

Ecoliteracy and Visionarianism for the Holidays

I have to share this site with you because I love it so much.  Even before I had my own child, I have been fascinated with what growing food can do for children and adults.  How it has the power to revolutionize our schools and schoolchildren EXCITES me! 

I've always loved Alice Waters' story, each time I've caught a little promo in a magazine or a book over the years, I relish her vision and the results of her tenacious journey into this territory.

As my baby gets older and I move out of the mama cave and into the world with him, I find that I'm thinking more and more about health and of our impact on his world. 

This year, we have declared and committed ourselves, through the inspiration of friends and our own hearts yearnings, to a "No Made in China and No Plastic" holiday celebration.  It is another step on the path of awareness of our consumption and responsibility for what turns up in landfills.  I will very soon have some lovely alternatives here to share with you.

I do realize that I have effectively not tied the ideas in this post together but am going to just leave it alone this time.

To My Sweet

Miles,

You slept a little fitfully last night.  Reminded me of a night two years ago exactly when I awoke at four a.m. to a dog barking inside my head.  Well, actually, it was the neighbor's dog, Duke- who, for reasons soon to become known- came to wake me up at the fence just behind where my head was resting on my pillow inside our cozy gypsy home.

Your birth was a comedy of errors while being the most amazing day of my life.  Because we were still waiting for our house to be built on the 2 1/2 acres we call home, we were living in a wee house not very appropriate for giving birth in.  I'd taken a class on hypnobirthing and was convinced that I could give birth quietly inside the sanctuary of the best hotel suite in town, but, HA! that brilliant idea was not to be. 

I'd eaten mexican food and a brick of chocolate peanut butter ice cream the night before you were born and it was swirling in my stomach as we drove to 'no vacancy' inn after inn, like some Fall season Mary and Joseph.  A stable began to sound mighty good at about 7 a.m, as our car lurched over potholes on the main highway north of town where not even Auntie Gina could be found.  Turns out the county fair was in town and also a festival of cars or something, leaving not a suite nor even a room open for us. 

We drove to the midwife's home as she hurriedly kicked her sleeping husband out of bed and prepared her own room for the birthing experience not of our dreams.  As often with birth, visions of how one might like it to be often do not materialize! 

Once safe inside the midwife's cozy home, I took a bath and ate some popsicles and settled into the idea that you would be with us very soon.  What an interesting day.  I remember looking at the clock at about 9 or so and then I entered a more trance-like state in which I didn't want to wear any clothes and I'd occasionally growl like a bear.  You took your first breath outside of the womb at 1:50 p.m. and as we had dreamed of, you were placed immediately on my tummy with your dad's hand over your back.  As soon as your cord stopped sending you nutrients, dad cut it and you scrambled up to loudly nurse. 

When we heard your voice as you came bursting into our world, we felt like we'd heard it in our dreams many times.  You sounded so familiar!  You glowed like an otherworldly being and you knew so much more about what to do than we did.

I want to thank you, son, for changing my life in so many ways.  We had no idea how you would show us how to love and listen and seek the truth.  Every day I learn from you and I am an eager student to all you have to teach me. 

You are my HEART, my LOVE, and your soul is a mirror for all that is good and sweet in the world.  We couldn't be happier that is was you who was waiting for us all of those years!  I will have so much fun watching you play and dance with your life.

Love, Mommy