We're sick and in the healing/birthing cave at Campbell Castle, so I've asked a few friends to guest blog for me. I hope you enjoy their mother/daughter offerings...xo
A look at the meaning of the myth of Persephone: Initiation
The myth of the maiden Persephone -- who while picking flowers in a
field sees the earth suddenly open before her and is abducted and
raped by Hades in a horse-drawn chariot, leaving her mother, Demeter,
bereft -- is one that makes every mother’s heart ache. When Demeter
learns of Persephone’s disappearance, she does what any mother would
do: search high and low for her, and when she cannot find any trace
of her, is wracked with grief. She takes out her anger and resentment
on the mortal world over which she presides as goddess of the harvest
and causes a severe drought and famine over the land. Eventually she
learns that Persephone was the victim of a plot by Zeus, uber-
Olympian, and his brother, Hades, god of the underworld, who made her
his wife. Persephone is eventually allowed to return to her mother but
not before Hades tricks her by giving her a juicy pomegranate before
she leaves. Upon taking a bite, she unknowingly binds herself to his
realm, but is allowed to live half of the year on earth with her mother.
I recently read a feminist revision of the myth, which left out the
rape and changed the story so that Persephone and Hades were equal
partners and she made a choice to live part of the time with him and
part of the time with her mother. While I can appreciate the desire to
turn this into a fable of equality, in which Persephone is less of a
victim, it misses the point of the myth. And as someone who loves
understanding archetypes, fairy tales, and myths, with all their
shadowy elements from a Jungian perspective, I see the story of
Persephone differently. It is a tale of initiation: a young woman's
coming of age and need to separate from her mother so that she can
become her own person.
While the imagery of Persephone being kidnapped and raped by Hades is
not one that on the surface any woman (let alone mother) would ever
ascribe to or condone on any level, if we look at it metaphorically,
it makes sense as told. (We mortals shouldn’t mess with the gods.
Their lessons are often severe and have teeth -- the better to eat you
with, my dear.)
Perhaps because my own 12-year-old daughter is going through puberty
and I have watched her in a sense be "snatched away" from me, it hits
close to home, and the metaphorical meaning is more apparent. I am
reminded that there is no easy way to go from girlhood to womanhood.
It is in some ways a violent shift, involving the shedding of blood,
the raging of hormones, and leaving the comfort of "home," or what is
known and safe – and venturing out into the social world at large. I
know how Demeter felt as she searched for the long, lost little girl
she had known only a short time ago.
Hades represents on a masculine level what Persephone, the naïve,
feminine, is required to face at some point in coming of age: the loss
of innocence and the gaining of experience. This involves risk-taking
and venturing out into the scary world without mommy to hold her hand
as she has become used to. (And who amongst us has not been seduced or
tempted by the bad boy, the dark haired charmer who drives up in his
snazzy car to whisk us away on a daring first date?) Every one of us
as Persephone must venture into the darkness, the unknown, and find
ourselves as well as our inner masculine so that we can use our
personal power in the world. While the consecration seems harsh and
brutal, Persephone survives it and goes on to marry Hades and preside
as Queen of the Underworld. She did what we must all do: consecrate
the marriage between our inner masculine and inner feminine to achieve
balance and wholeness – the ability to call upon the yin and yang of
these energies when we need them.
From Demeter's point of view, which I can now thoroughly embrace as a
mother of a daughter who is starting the leave-taking, it all seems
harsh and scary out there for my tender young daughter, but I must let
go. I can relate to Demeter's grieving. Many times as my daughter has
raged and pushed me away in the throes of her coming of age, I have
had to remind myself that this is normal; this is what she needs to
do; she needs to claim her own identity, separate from mine, and the
ties that have bound us until now. We have had talks about these
"battles," and she is always so relieved when I let her know I don't
take them personally, that I see that she is going through the painful
process of expressing and finding her authentic self. She must push
away; and I must allow it. (And I remember my own struggles as a
maiden in her position. How I longed for a mother who understood and
could contain my feelings.)
And at various times, my daughter, Chloe, like Persephone, has come
back to me (from her time underground) and let me know she appreciates
my tolerance and understanding; and at times she comes to me as the
little girl again who needs to feel close to her mommy. I see the
relief on her face. And she, too, tolerates my anger and perhaps a
little bit of my pain in letting go. It is not of her choosing, as it
is for any of us. At some point we are called to the journey, to
become the heroine in our own lives. We will either answer that call
with courage and meet our fate or we will stay undifferentiated from
our family and afraid to take a bite of what life has to offer. It is
a difficult but necessary reordering of the mother/daughter
relationship and a drive towards wholeness that should not be thwarted.
Stephanie Anderson Ladd is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Chapel Hill, NC. If you will be in the area, check out her Soul Collage workshop at Panopolie. Contact her at
[email protected]. The above pictured card is her own creation.
