Pink Coyote

Video Six

Need a Laugh?

Mondays sometimes just wake me up on the wrong side of the bed. This FOTC song has been creeping in and infects me with the giggles. I can't get it out of my head, even when no mutha-uckas are uckin wi my shih. Warning: Cursing may be unsavory for the workplace!

Video Five

Do you schedule in time to account for mistakes in your work, learning new software, curve balls? I don't! This week's Lesson Learned the Hard Way is to remember that self-imposed deadlines often have to extend when things don't go as planned. I'll be exploring this more. In the meantime, I'd love to hear your story!

Clearly, I'm getting more comfortable with this if I'm broadcasting live from my bathroom.

Shop Update: Cards!

 

I've added little note cards to the animama shop! I'm really proud of them. The color is really vibrant and the card stock nice and heavy. You can buy them individually or in a 4 card pack with a little ribbon to be much more cost-efficient. Click on the photos to go straight to the listing!

 

Thank you all for coming here and being *with* me on my creative journey as a mom and artist. I'm full of gratitude that I have you to share my goodies with... 

Video Four

Doing better. Thank you so much for your feedback and positive thoughts for Blue. Surgery is scheduled for Wednesday, so I do appreciate any of you who can hold a bit of space for her recovery. Bless you!

Spider has been linked to the Wheel of Fortune card in the tarot deck. I like Spiritual Tarot for a depth-psychology approach to what's coming up for me in the cards or just life in general. Here is a small bit of what it says:

"[The Wheel of Fortune] is a symbol of advancement, of cycles of manifestation, of energy that can be harnessed without stopping the rhythm of natural unfolding and periodic repetition. It is the archetype of our quest for the Holy Grail, for self-enlightenment. The Wheel of Fortune can teach us endurance and fortitude, how to analyze situations and make decisions accordingly, and how to keep our psychic balance in the midst of fluctuation."

I fluctuate, therefore, I am!

Natural Cycles

I try to pay close attention to the lessons that come up for me in my life. There are events and situations that cause me to wake up or go to sleep depending on what my will decides to default to. In health, I awaken and acknowledge. In a shadow, I repress and keep muddling about until I have to take notice. Something that I want to acknowledge more, and tend to with more consciousness is the simple act of taking care of myself. 

Since May, I shot myself out of a creative canon, having a very cooperative and sleepy baby that magically accomodated my need to achieve goals. I love that I get very enthusiastic about an idea and can easily run away to town with it. I'm pleased that I've learned to listen to my inner promptings to follow a creative nudging when it calls. I definitely feel like I'm tuned into the muse this year. 

The paradox in all of this creative action(!) is that I run myself ragged, adding stress to my life by getting so focused on [fun] goals that I cease to listen to my body when it grows tired, when babies shift from being sleepy and cooperative, and I lose the balance that I fought to create. I have created so much work for myself, in fact,  now I have to attend to it, lest it pile up and stress me more. Time to reevaluate.

Ahhh, the struggle to act in harmony with the natural cycles of my life. What I'm discovering is that I go on creative benders and ride that wave until I begin to crash a little and that eventually gives way to burn out. It seems that about every three months I experience a death and then the rebirth. The death is so painful sometimes, I can feel myself resisting! I asked my friend who works as a professional organizer if quarterly deaths and rebirths sounded often to her, and she reported that she cycles this way, too. I'd be interested to know if any of you out there experience this so frequently.

Clearly, I'm burned out. Crispy. I'm surrendering to the death of a way that's ready to change again. I'm carrying a bit of shame for not listening to the parts of me that have been calling and I'm a little sad that I've turned some fun creative goals into stress and aggravation. I much prefer being the butterly to holing up in a chrysallis and missing out on all of the good stuff happening around me. 

I made a Minimum Requirements list, because it's gotten to the point where I'm even forgetting to take my vitamins and drink water. I receive automatic updates from the amazing retreat and self-care Goddess, Jennifer Louden, and this week she offered a podcast in which she spoke about this concept. I jotted down the few things that I must have on a daily basis in order to feel like I've plugged in and charged up a bit so as to have reserves to nurture myself and others with. And isn't it interesting that I have to refuel myself in order to be able to have something to give....myself? Such as nurturing, love and permission to rest? I found that a bit ironic.


Daily Minimum Requirements (or How I Burned Myself Out This Summer)

Water

Vitamins

Fresh food

Create a little something

Journal for self-reflection

Rest

A little bit of solitude


I added lots of things to my weekly and monthly minimum requirements and posted them on the fridge. I am one of those people who needs to stop and read my own notes in order to remember sometimes. In the year of a new baby, I sometimes feel like I have no brain!

Additionally, our Blue dog, our sweet rescue babe that we acquired 10 years ago, has had a mass on her underbelly confirmed as cancerous. I have never cared for anyone terminal before and so I am going on a new journey to give care to someone very dear to me. At some point, I am going to have to grieve this friend, and that will be a new journey for me in some ways, too. I am re-reading a lovely book about how the author has cared for her beloved pets and how to communicate with dogs psychically to hear their messages about what they need, and eventually, when they have had enough.

I realize that this is a rambling rose of a post. Would you tell me what you know about self-care while giving much of yourself to others? I know you have wisdoms untold... Please share...

Smile

"Every time that I think of you I smile for a while. That's the one thing you always do You always smile, smile, smile." --Dan Zanes

 

This is an old post from December of 2006 that bears repeating. Girlie Blue isn't feeling tip-top. We are awaiting test results and would like to ask for good mojo for her. She's a good friend to me and is in need of some healing. 

In splendid gratitude,

p

Undercover

We're a bit under the weather, with some general snuffling and sneezling going on. Thank goodness we made cupcakes yesterday! Miles wanted to try out his new piping tips and pastry bag. I'm trying to create a pastry chef here to keep me in sweets! For just about four years old, I think he did a fine job.

I love the vegetable food dye by India Tree. They use cabbage, beets and curcumin and leave out toxic #4. Finally, proper natural liquid food coloring! The colors are a little bit pastely, but I think I can work with it. It certainly beats my child having blue poop for a week.

I'm getting rather buried in demands, so videos and reviews and promises-made are not being met. Knowing that I tend to put demands like this before demands of health, I'm opting this time to steer clear of this machine and head for the couch.

Be back soon!

Happy. Joy.

 

Someone was very happy to attend two birthday parties this weekend: Baby Gavin turned one on Saturday, and Justin (my husband's friend from high school) turned forty. Justin's mama makes the best a mean gourmet potato salad (ok, not better than my mom's, but very good, indeed) and she also made her own rosemary bread which I would have maimed someone for more, had there not been strawberry cake coming my way across the table.

The weekends have a way of turning into a mad rush to get "things" done while there are four adult hands on deck, so it was very good to celebrate and be festive instead of being workaholics. Miles ran around shooting squirt guns on the grass with a couple of other kids and continuing to hatch out of his reserved little shell. I love being out in the world with these children.

In other news, I own far too many pillows. But that hasn't stopped me from coveting OIive. I must've clicked through a front page listing of hers and proceeded to lollygag around dreamily for an hour clicking back and forth, unwilling to close the window. I'm obsessed with cottages and buildings of all kinds and her little house pillows are so charming. I hearted her. Then she tracked me down and fell in love with one of my paintings and put it on her blog (check out her beautiful home pics, too). I love it when mutual hearting happens. It just feels good. Is it possible for virtual stores to exude good energy? If so, then hers does.

Happy, happy. Joy. Joy.

One

What would shift in each of us if we could trust that we are all the same?

That not one of us is better, different or more unique than the other. That one path is not more ethical, that one method is not superior. That one person's expression is not more genius than another's. That it is just the insecure ego feeling threatened, which drives us to seek such differences and spotlight them. What if, instead of comparing ourselves to each other, we could allow one another the time and mistakes to discover what is meaningful to each?

What would it be like if we believed that we are all just the same, all connected, all parts of one growing and shrinking, expanding and contracting, universe? All parts of a collective consciousness, acting and responding in kind. That all is hanging in divine balance at all times, even in times of injustice and confusion.

Powerful and reknown medicine men and women I have come to know or have heard about all seem to share one thing in common. It always stops me in my tracks to hear it spoken: "I'm just a common man (or woman)." Is it a mantra they use to stay humble or do they really believe they are completely ordinary? They claim no special skills, thought processes or training. I always find it curious that the most evolved and awe-inspiring people are also the most humble.

Why is being totally common or oridinary so frightening to some folks? I have to admit that I fear not living an extraordinary life. It motivates me to try to make choices that matter to me, which is not all bad. However, so much emphasis is put on the individual in this part of the world. While this is empowering in it's healthy state, the shadow side of it is the arrogance that comes with believing that one's choices are somehow better than the rest. We all suffer from it. Not one of us is immune to it! (except those scamps like Eckhart Tolle or the Dalai Lama.)

And this saddens me a great deal.

Someone dear to me always says that we are all one. When I can remember this, my heart feels a bit lighter. We are all the same.

YES

YES to everything today.

YES to painting on the body.

YES to two three chocolates.

YES to using the entire pot of glitter.

YES to macaroni and cheese leftovers for breakfast.

YES to wearing good shoes in the dirt.

YES to nakedness until noon.

YES to hours of Maisy.

YES to reorganizing the pantry.

YES to everything today.

Video Three: I Could Even Do This Riding Horseback

May you take pause today to savor the magical brew swirling in your soulpot.

Video Two: Out of Hiding

 

 

Here I am again, making a late-night attempt to honor my promise to myself by creating these little vlogs. While my main issue is about feeling comfortable, I'm also trying to practice non-self-judgement- which is nearly impossible. This means I have 28 more opportunities to get over it!

Here is the Goddess Guidebook link I referenced.

Thanks, peeps! It is mighty sporty of you to tune in for these. Perhaps you might share what comes up for you or how you deal with this sort of discomfort?

Retreat

 

...and carrying water here this week. The do list is long and my desire to be awake is short.

I sat in my women's medicine circle in the mountains today and it felt like a deep retreat for my soul. We haven't met in several months because summer just runs away out from under a person, doesn't it?

I want to tell you how strongly I feel about hearts healing all over this planet. Is anyone else experiencing this? Letting go of things you never thought you could? Standing firm on your own two feet? Overcoming an impossible obstacle? Understanding how that thing you thought was horrible worked out rather well? Learning that same old lesson less and less? Change is happening, loves. Something is different. And I dig it.

I have had some powerful dreams lately, some having to do with Miles and some shapeshifting animals. He has big healer energy, but I mustn't let him in on that secret. It is so profoundly magical to see one's children unfold and become. I am learning to nurture what I did not know I would need to. Parenthood is full of mysteries untold. I don't want to get caught up in how I grieve the moments which I forget, but I do.

The computer has been draining my energy a bit lately. My heart has been in need of a balm. Slowing down to nourish myself with friendship, food, guidance and to keep company with the wise tree people was the perfect fit.

 

Video One: I Didn't Die

Scary, but not too scary. Just weird. And cool! Thank you for hanging in there with me as I worked through my preliminary fears. I think I can do thirty of these without dying. I'm pretty sure.

 

Vid One: Not Too Scary from Pixie Campbell on Vimeo.

 

Blue-green Door, 6 x 6 acrylic & pencil on birch board.

I'm in utter disbelief that Fall is sneaking up. And utter joy, of course, as it is my season-when all doors of possibility seem to breezily blow open in my soul and let the light filter through.

I'm also realizing how quickly Squam Art Workshops is approaching, requiring plenty of prep work and shipping ahead of materials. (I will not schlep carseats, a giant, overweight suitcase, art supplies and two children through one more airport this year!) Only six more weeks to go!

We won't be taking as much time as we did last year to leisurely cruise the area, but we will again stay in Portsmouth, NH: home to the Enormous Tiny Art Show at Nahcotta Gallery, and almond joy pancakes at our very favorite, yummy diner.  Mmm... and orange french toast. Wheee!

Retreat is the best solution to any issue, in my opinion. Writer's block? Retreat! Uninspired? Disconnected? Retreat! I am absolutely all about it. It leaves me overflowing every time.

 

 

 

sweet, sweet home

 

We're home! And despite all urges to jump right back into full steam ahead work, I'm going to take some more time to enjoy my babes and do a bit of domestic goddessing.

These macaroons were made today, mostly by Miles, but I helped a little.

Easy Peasy and Soft & Fast Macs

1/3 c sugar

1 egg white

1 c unsweetened shredded coconut

1/2 tsp vanilla extract

1/4 c chopped almonds, optional (M pulverized them with a stone)

pinch of course seasalt

Preheat oven to 350

Line cookie sheet with parchment paper

Whisk sugar and egg white together

Add the rest of the ingredients and stir together

Drop by the tablespoon onto the baking sheet

Bake 15 minutes or so until golden brown on top, as well as bottom edges

Cool for 5 minutes and then devour

 

See you in a day or so!

Blessings

as i walked around socializing with sangita's friends and family, they all oohed and ahhhed over little ivy. the women were drumming and chanting and singing blessings for the bride and groom. colors swirled all around. most everyone received a mehndi, even the men and babes. each time an elder would speak about one of the children, they did so as if the entire source of inspiration for life came from the little ones. many would touch ivy gently and say, "God Bless Her" and every time it felt like a special gift from the divine ringing in my soul

like

a

tiny

golden

bell.

 

We Made It!

 

The Campbell girls have arrived in Boston and made our way to Connecticut today mostly drama-free. I thank the stars that the good people of Boston are SO HELPFUL and chivalrous. God, I love this town.

We stopped to nurse, eat a Dunkin' Donut and crash on our fluffy bed before heading out to a traditional Mehndi ceremony for the bride.

It was pouring rain when I pulled over in a company parking lot to feed this very patient and hungry babe. What a trooper.

I'm loving the humidity and cool rain here. I do not miss my California sunshine one bit today!