I have to report that I am LOVING working in a neighborhood where there is food this good and this good and this good. The Argentinian jewel is literally 2 skips down from our beautiful blue building and oh. my. goddess. Heaven in an empanada! How I love your flaky outer and spicy oniony innards.
I've also become smitten with another blogger and am so inspired by a post called resistance -by Monica of Holistic Mama. Her outlook on the shadow sides of the astrological elements did something for me. My chart is very earthy and there's no water anywhere in it, I now have another way of looking at this issue with vulnerability that I have. Shedding, flowing...moving around the obstacles without strife, yes. All part of this leg of life for me. With each great wide opening comes inevitable vulnerability against which I tend to brace first and surrender second.
The work is materializing. It is coming forth with it's very own voice and messages. I notice that about 60% of the way through a creation, I no longer have much say in what the meaning or messages are. I am asked to step out of the way and so I do, though not without concerns about consistency as an artist, color palette issues, my connection to the work, very superficial ego stuff.
B and I watched Sherlock Holmes last week and I was surprised, no, shocked, that I (media hermit) had no clue that it was a Guy Ritchie film. When I saw the credit, the style of his films came rushing back one at a time and I had an even greater appreciation for his storytelling consistency and flair. I wondered about my own expressions. And then had to let those questions go. Because no matter how I see my work, I know that no one else sees it as myopically as I do. And, does it really matter, in the end? No. Of course it doesn't.
I spoke with a blogging mama bud this morning and we discussed how with our first child, there was a fear (at least there was for me), and an anxiety about getting everything just right for him. I poured myself into motherhood like a healthy smoothie into a tall, clear glass with the confidence that only an overzealous (nut) new mother has. When Ivy came to me, I felt an ease and a surrender. Surrender to the madness of having two, surrender to the fact that I would likely not be birthing any more children. Welcoming the completion with a sniffle, but jumping right into my creative pool, as well. The evolution of family, art and self truly fascinates me.
I enjoy being on this path so much. With each day that I get to wake up safe and healthy, mother my children the way I choose to, make art that means something to me, and swim in the juice of my cherished relationships, ...well...this is a very, very good day to live.
