I knew last Fall that change was coming. I kept referring to 2011 as Year of the Fox without knowing exactly what that meant, and I still don't...exactly. I sit in the ultimate unknown, wondering what aspects of my life will really shapeshift and turn corners, knowing that Fox's giant fluffy tail will comfort me through the moments as change rolls in and over me. All I can do is take refuge and cozy down in my den with my kits when necessary.
Change, 2009.
I learn and re-learn my own medicine again and again. Night before last I had a crazy dream with many animals, including a Mama Bear and cub, three warrior-like deer, and lots of Spotted and Bald Eagle feathers, which I found lying on the ground. The feathers were half the length of my body and the Bear was about 5 times the size of a grizzly. Larger than life, these symbols were.
At the end of the dream, I pulled a piece of artwork I'd made from my bicycle basket to share with some activist artist friends of mine and it was a small latch-hooked (yes LATCH HOOKED) rug with a word hooked into it. That word was CHANGE. It was bright orange like the fiery, creative sun, in a nest of shaggy white loops.
I'd thought my motif for the year was going to be something completely different, until my dream showed me this message. And though I have a knee-jerk fear about how it might play out, it's plain that change is not a threat. Just as the giant animals in my dream sat stoically as I contemplated running from them, change is something I can sit with, learn from and observe without panic.
Last year it became apparent that self-care would be a large part of the medicine, and OH BOY, did it present in a way I didn't expect. Experiencing that, I leave myself open this year for this lesson to come in, even if it brings me to my knees. Just writing it gives me a shiver! But I'm committed to knowing when I'm meant to. I think I want to create a ceremony to hold this openness, while placing a layer of soft insulation around me.
January is back to grey, after a few days of glorious sun, making self-reflection and curling up on the sofa with the babes very easy to do.
