Pink Coyote

Studio Snapshots: When There Are No Words

Winter SouLodge closed last week and it was a powerful ceremony of wisdom. I am so proud of the women who show up to their own soulwork-I'm sure I've said it a million times and I'm here to say it again: Women amaze me. Woman, the luscious archetype of strength and creative possibility seems boundless. IS boundless. What I love the most about SouLodge, and this is the only way it can really work, is how the women take responsibility for their own forward movement.

Spring Session is approaching quickly, so I took the opportunity to grow a bit myself creatively, seeing as how Spring is the session in which we will plant the seeds of creative growth for 2012. The kids and I have been painting like mad since beginning Flora's class. It's been a pivotal piece of fuel to keep me on path.

I painted like a Coyote with her tail on fire in 2009 and 2010, and then made half a dozen in 2011. While quantity doesn't matter, practice does-at least to me. One of my commitments to myself in the new year was to create time and space to express in the way that is so vital to my soul.

Last year, I'd considered moving my work life into a delicious little space downtown, but with Brandon's work being out of town and moving house on the calendar, I backed out. Now that our lives are back here for a while, and trying to create with a bustling house of homeschooling and life here can be dodgey, I took a chance to see if the space was still open.

Eydie: Oh, Pixie, yes, the space you wanted was never rented. When would you be interested in it?

Me: Um....today?

Feeling a bit Anne Morrow Lindbergh, I moved very few things into the windowed space and checked out for a few days, lunching with my family there and testing what it's like to try to be home when I'm home and at work when I'm at work. So far it's going brilliantly.

Bought an old table desk across the street and painted it blue.

Watched as hearts of light appeared.

Moved in a cabinet for snacks and supplies.

Hung the thirsty canvases.

Made some tea. Popped some gojis.

Opened up Pandora's box.

And painted to save my life.

When there are no words, there is paint.

My Goddess Friend's Awesome Course

Me and Stevie: MaidenMamaCrones

I'm super excited and proud to share one of my dearest and wisest friends who is launching her Spring project. I'm so proud of the work that she's done, which is kind of rich to say, considering how much she has fairygodmothered me through all of my thirties and counting. I love this woman. She is a compassionate teacher, a true visionary and an amazingly right-brained analyst, if that makes any sense. I want to share her offering with you for any of you who are called to do deeper work with goddess archetypes.

She let me fire a few questions at her to try to let you all know what this course is all about, and where you can expect her to take you. Stevie, I'm so lucky to have you as a dream guide, a mentor, a midwife. Thanks for all that you do that makes me feel so at home in my own skin.

Goddess Temple e-course: The Triple Goddess - March 4 - 31, 2012

I'm wondering what inspired you to jump into the e-course game, my lovely friend. You've always been an amazing space-holder/facilitator and a virtual circle is something new altogether. 

It’s an outgrowth of my blog, Owl and Crow, where I write about and explore the deep divine feminine. When I created my Soul Workbook, In the Lap of the Goddess: Connecting With the Divine Feminine last year, I wanted to do live workshops using the book to help women better understand the goddess within them. You actually suggested I offer it as an e-course at Squam by the Sea last Fall and I thought that is probably the best way to reach a wide audience. 

I did? That was brilliant of me.

So, you have inspired me, Pixie. Taking your Fall SouLodge solidified it for me when I saw how it could work in a private Facebook group. That was a key piece for me, seeing how it could function as a virtual women’s circle. I was amazed at how open and vulnerable everyone was and so willing to share, much like the live circle you and I were in for so long. That willingness to speak our truth and share our stories is something I want to bring into this course on the divine feminine.

Clarify for those reading what you mean when you say "divine feminine"-we throw this around pretty casually, but there are some who may want to feel out the depth of the concept and see if it speaks to them. 

I mean the part of each of us that is connected to the divine, to the higher Self, to the missing feminine face of God. Most of us grew up exposed to images of the sacred masculine, but unless you were Catholic and knew Mary, few of us have any sacred feminine dieties or images to relate to. Exploring the goddesses that have endured from ancient times to the present day in every culture of the world allows us to get in touch with these archetypal parts of ourselves that have never really disappeared, they’ve just gone underground, so to speak. But if you seek, you will find them. They are there for us. She is there for us. She exists in our psyche, in the collective unconscious. All we have to do is tap into it.

I love how unapologetic you've always been about how awesome Mary is. You've taught me to adore her and seek guidance from her when she was one of the last faces of feminine God I could relate to.

I love this quote from Nelle Morton, which really sums it up for me: “When I speak of Goddess I am in no way referring to an entity ‘out there,’ who appears miraculously as a fairy godmother and turns the pumpkin into a carriage. I am in no way referring to a Goddess ‘back there,’ as if I participate in resurrecting an ancient religion. In the sense that I am woman, I see the Goddess in myself.” 

What, no bluebirds fashioning a Disney dress with a sash for me? There are so many archetypes to explore and our culture seems so quiet about them. This bothers me deeply. Girls and women need more heroes. Real ones.

I want to know more about the three goddesses you cover in this course that starts in two weeks. The word crone makes hairs stand up on some women's necks, so I want you to share how each phase works.

The idea of the Triple Goddess can be seen in many different feminine dieties in every culture and tradition in the world from Kali, to Brigit, to Mary. There are a number of ways to understand this threefold aspect of our soul, but typically we hear of the maiden, mother and crone. So that’s what we’re going to focus on in this course, with the Greek triple goddess of Persephone, the maiden, Demeter, the mother, and Hecate, the crone. 

We’ll be using the first three chapters from my workbook to explore these archtypes within the feminine psyche. They correspond to the three phases of the moon, so we cycle through these aspects every month, if not every day, as well as every season throughout our lives.

In essence, the maiden corresponds to spring, the time of birth, beginning, learning something new, innocence, when we feel light-hearted, carefree, a time of initiation, the new moon. The mother is full-on full moon, the summer and fall seasons. The time when we are actively engaged in life, doing things, cultivating. We may be raising children or not. We may be working, creating, caregiving, or any number of things we women do. And the time of the crone is the dark moon, winter, the waning of our energy, the time to rest and reflect and go inward, which speaks to our intuitive, medial nature, our ability to step out of ourselves and see the bigger picture. 

There is also within the myth of these Greek goddesses, the mother-daughter story, of holding on and letting go, of birthing and releasing, of attaching and separating, which is so much a part of a woman’s life as well. We cycle in and out of these phases throughout our lives. There is much to explore as to what we see, think, feel, do, need, want, and know about ourselves and the world as we move through these aspects.

I know all about you, of course, but juice it up for the amazing women who come here to learn more about going deeper into the sacred. Share a bit about you and the e-course in a nutshell.

I am a woman who is always in search of deeper meaning and connection--to myself, to other women, to Spirit. As a psychotherapist, I incorporate archetypal and transpersonal psychology in my work as a way to understand the feminine soul and to help us achieve wholeness. I see this 4-week course as a workshop or a circle, a virtual temple, where women can explore and share their understanding of the maiden, mother and crone as it relates to their own journey. I will be part of the circle, sharing my journey, as well.

This will be a self-directed course and everyone can go at their own pace. We’ll focus on the maiden the first week, the mother the second week, the crone the third, and the fourth week will be about the integration of the triple goddess.

Besides the 30-page downloadable e-book that is included with the course, there will be videos, an audio meditation to meet your inner, maiden, mother and crone, a conference call, and a package of goddess goodies mailed to your door. We'll be creating images of the goddess and an altar. It should be a lot of fun. I’m looking forward to meeting you in the Goddess Temple!

Go Visit The Goddess Temple for more information and to register.

*****

I can't wait to see what Hecate has for me at the crossroads... 

Thank you, Stevie! I love sharing your deep love of women here.

East with Eagle

This is Eagle. Broad of vision and sharp taloned, having come to me last year. This pair are a magnificent sight and medicine that I am working with extremely carefully. There is so much to learn about this powerful bird, most of which I am only just beginning to see.

When I was twenty, I had to get corrective lenses for my nearsightedness. I still have excellent close range vision, but my far-sight has been impaired since early adulthood. I experienced a trauma at nineteen, and I've always wondered if it had anything to do with my fear of the future. Thinking this way has caused me to do everything I can come up with in order to cure my own vision. It may not be in my power to do so, but I will keep trying to shift my perspective-out of Mouse's tidy little den and up into the great blue sky to take in what lies outside my close range. I believe we can heal these things, if we can go into the origin and do what is necessary to free ourselves from the obstacle that once served as much-needed protection. Letting go. That's what it's all about for me: Trusting that I am safe. Soaring.

Eagle is the token representative of the East, rising with the morning Sun, bringing up the day and all possibilities with it. It is a symbol of vast and wide creativity, trust, connection to Spirit, and grasping what nourishes. Eagle has helped me tune into healing my family's past, present, and future, and he assists me in taking responsibility for my own growth. I have called upon him for guidance in matters of conducting sacred commerce, making educational choices for my children, and infusing my creative path with the flame and possibility of the dawn. It is my honor to work with Eagle and to realize that everything I do ripples out, and that I have a responsibility to understand what that will look like, even a hundred years from now.

Winter SouLodge is rounding out nicely, with its beautiful participants honoring White Buffalo's aspects of elder Wisdom, stillness, and inner council. This is the season of the North, in which we draw inward to conserve energies, connect to the hearth, and nurture the seeds deep inside the womb of Mama Earth-the very same seeds that will pop into action with a spark of warmth come Spring. Spring Lodge is filling quickly, where the focus will be on trust, new beginnings, and nurturing your creative and personal seedlings of 2012 and inspiring them with Eagle's sky dance for our energetic journey into the East on April 2nd.

SouLodge, and the community of women within it's sheltered circle, has become a place for me to hold sacred space for growth and healing of all kinds, and it is my honor to welcome the awakened ones who are called to come to the fire and dance.

 

Golden Days, by Hannah CrazyHawk

 

At Cliff's Edge

It was nine years ago last month that I took myself to Big Sur for the first time. I disorientedly rang up my friend Swirly and asked her where she loved to go when she needed space away from it all, and this is where she directed me.

I'd had a second trimester miscarriage two weeks before I phoned her and those around me were worried that I would go up there and fling myself off of a cliff. Which, interestingly enough, was where I received the healing I required to move forward in the light, and in a new kind of strength that I'd never before experienced, alone.

Traumatic and blindsiding loss made me feel as though I was standing on a precipice. I packed some art supplies and my journal, and took the curvaceous drive up the California coast to the place where artists have been taking sanctuary for a hundred years or more. In many places the road comes very close to the edge of the Earth, reminding me of my fear of heights, my stomach flipping over as I snatched glimpses of the waves crashing on the rocks below.

The room I stayed in had nothing but a bed and a bathroom. No phone, no tv, no cell service. I painted, journalled, slept long hours dreaming of this baby spirit that had chosen to gift me with this experience before gifting me with motherhood.

On my last day there, I decided to stand at the scariest edge I could find on the roadside and rage out my grief-all of it-all the way back to childhood. I recalled what I'd heard someone say about heights reflecting fear not that we will fall, but that we will jump. I wonder if, for me, it was a fear of soaring...despite what was happening in my body and in my injured soul at the time. I remember feeling a tremendous comfort-that the sea was like a big bowl, a container that could totally hear and understand my rage, my disappointment and hold my tears for me. I grew louder and bolder, and still she rocked me softly. The sea lions below barked and cheerleaded. The turkey vultures circled overhead, not in wait for me to lay down and die so they could pick at my bones, but to take from me all that would become toxic if I held it inside. The scent of sagebrush wafted up and cleansed me. I can't remember a time where I felt more held and safe. I closed my eyes and felt the rubble moving under my unsteady feet, and learned to trust for the first time in my life. Tears of rage turned to tears of gratitude for my life, for all that was possible. I felt it for the whole world.

Often I am asked how it is I came to this work-to my connection with the Earth as a healer, and to the creatures. I suppose in some part, it began with this loss, and then an emptying. The void inside of me filled with light and I felt a strange commitment to want to give back to the Earth for the gift of being held when no one could hold me. I wanted to know I could always come here as if to an altar and find my illuminated self waiting at the edge, trusting.

It was lifechanging to discover that between just she and I, a relationship existed that could keep me in the light. That every part of her was rooting for me. Crumbling, barking, splashing, crashing...daring me to live well, to thrive, to be fully expressed.

I travel back every year to revisit the cliff's edge and to reconnect with my own light. Oddly enough, it only rained that year, and I visit in January or February, ritually. Twice I've been pregnant. Every time, I am rebirthed.

Play Hard, Laugh Hard

 

Sometimes grown women need to be reminded not only how to play, but also of the sacredness of play.

Sara Ban Breathnach, Simple Abundance Companion