Pink Coyote

Beautiful Fuel: SAW Part 2

Deep breath. Tea and snack at my side. Many thoughts surfacing about how I can communicate the essence of my experience with you. I'm going to go slowly, okay? I really want to tell you so much...

Attending any retreat is risky. It asks us to stretch ourselves a little, gently, and it also brings up anxiety around our expectations. How will we be perceived? Will we be able to do what we set out to? What in the wild world will blindside us on our journeys there, such as flat tires, car rental snafus, getting lost, forgetting important items, separation anxiety? Just the beginning. How will we grow in our strength and confidence as we take these risks? How will we disappoint ourselves or let ourselves off the hook?

I've attended Squam Art Workshops two times before, once offsite with my family, and in 2009 onsite with my family. Both times, it was as a student. This was my first time alone, and...I was teaching. The week prior I was riddled with anxiety, but as soon as I pulled up through the "tunnel of trees", (as Miles referred to it when he was just about to be three), I felt the cramp and then the release that comes with initiation. I cried as I drove and it was cleansing. By the time I arrived on the land, that sacred land (!) I was fresh and ready to share my gifts, the very best of what I had to share right then.

I presented the idea that our Muse dwells deep within us and that we have to clear the way to access her reserves that eagerly await us, especially so if we don't already have a practice of doing this. One of my students emailed to say this:

I so enjoyed your mask class, that I was wishing I'd taken your medicine shawl class on the last morning.  I was intrigued to hear just a little bit about your Native American beliefs and culture, I'd like to learn more, such a different way of thinking and regarding our earth, our souls, our journey.  The best part of the class for me was the beginning time when we were sitting by the fire, you were "talking us out of our left brains", and into our right brains, talking about our animals, our energy centers - a real mental transformation, especially for someone like me who doesn't typically "color outside the lines"!  I think a little bit of magic was happening! -Karen

I felt an immediate sense of the women who blessed me with their trust as they showed up so open and ready to dig into their creativity in a way that they hadn't yet before. I don't quite know how to tell you what it was like to be in a rustic room, fire roaring, wind howling through the cracks of our workshop doors, and be surrounded by such divine willingness to risk comfort and limits in order to push into that fertile den of our spirits. While I want to be accountable for the space I held and the content I created, I want to assure you that something else was at work. It's my belief that something else always is at work.

Beverly followed her Muse into our kitchen where she wet felted watery, elemental colors of wool roving using a piece of found plastic netting and dishsoap.

The work with the mask was not about creating an alternate persona to hide behind, but a way to give "face" to the parts of us that reside in our spirits. I discovered somewhere along this road that our souls have work to do, lessons to learn, ancient history to overcome. I have come to love this messy, human soul-work. Souls are full of purpose and drive, sometimes with a blend of fear or courage. But our spirits are where we know from.

The best way I can think to describe it is to tell you about a vision I had while I was flying back home: If it's true that we are born in the very beginning as pure light, from the chaos of creative energy, then it makes perfect sense that our life's work, our soul work will begin to unfold the moment we interact with the world and the egos that surround us, including our own. But then, events occur that bring us back in touch with the light.

As the second half of my own life begins, I find that I want more access to that light. I found that the women in my classes had been through a lot. They shared. Some of us even wept. No matter what their ages, I heard again and again that they wanted access to, and were returning to that light for fuel, for confidence, for sanctuary, for messages about how to proceed. I imagine it like a well, and as we get older, we realize that it's always been there for us, from the very beginning, only now, we can get to it and draw up nourishment and luminous expression from it.

Tifanie topstitches and embroiders by the fire.

I'm still integrating many of the gifts that presented at this workshop. (One of which was a hearty donation of sewing machines from Singer, which made it possible for us to have an abundance of tools onhand to create with.)

I still have much more to share. This is a bit of a show and tell of what came up for me as I was entering this new realm of imparting what I know. It's a start.

I'm still getting grounded from the experience, but I feel safe here saying that it was very powerful. Sometimes, at large retreats I can sense a hiding out, and a protection among participants, but this was not my experience at all. And I heard similar murmurings all over camp during my time there.

The vastness of the heart-openings I witnessed infused me with a mysterious and profound trust in the feminine process, something I'd imagined could not expand any more. As I watched the hands of these wild women shapeshift into the hands of their grandmothers and ancestors, fueled by something greater than we could have foreseen, I became filled with a kind of security in our abilities to grow and expand in ceremony, in circle, and in creativity...together.

Plants and Stones

It has been a full few days. Sunday, I tinctured with Grandmother Nettles well into the night. I'm going to do a seperate post on making the mother tinctures, because it deserves it's own post. I will say that I loved being up late making magic like a kitchen witch on the night of New Moon while all lay quiet in the house.

Monday I had a little minor surgery in the morning and came home all shot out of the gate, and sat in bed with my laptop ordering supplies and returning emails. Not even the pain pills keep me down, and I say this with no pride.

I needed to replenish many stones I'd run out of, plus charms, deerskin, and of course, along the way I fell in love with some new ones. I'm making a custom bundle for someone with Stage 4 Lymphoma and this black kyanite wing appeared and tapped me on the shoulder...this thing is incredible, I can hardly put it down.

Bornite, also called peacock ore, is my new love. It is a supercharged positive mineral associated with pure joy and spinning the chakras to a blissful tune.

The wisteria is in full flower, making our arbor smell heavenly.

Miles discovered the biggest clover we've ever seen...

...and presented me with a sunny day bouquet.

I'm working heavily with the birds again, having begun three paintings tonight-the first since January! I could feel that quiet settle over me...I've missed it so much. Big birds. Hawks. Eagles. Griffin. Phoenix. Turkey Vulture. Raven. They are swooping in and removing, building, hatching, rebirthing...doing the work they're so good at.

Who's rapping at your chamber door?

Quietly Creating

It was a quiet week with no warning here, I apologize. My to-do list had gotten out of control and needed some love. So I put my hands to work and here's what I have to show for it.

A countertop covered in patchwork squares in prep for tiny curtains.

 

Another surface covered in tax receipts from my adventures in 2010.

 

A cabinet makeover which included a bit of sanding, a slap of paint, a bit more sanding and some new pulls.

 

A new cover for a very old chair, made with a heavy vintage Danish fabric I found for a steal.

Some special request and custom bundles that filled my heart up.

And a new medicine bundle, Moose: Returning to Spirit Roots which covers so much rich territory, was inspired by one amazing woman reclaiming her connection to the Earth, and a group of brave, spirited women in my world.

It's good to be back in this beloved space!

Wild Woman Outings with Lunableu Beasty

It took a bit longer than expected, because there were so many colorful name options for the 10 foot beauty, now affectionately known as Lunableu Beasty, or for short, Lunableu! Or simply, the Beasty! What I selected was a composite of names separately tossed into the pot, but seemed playful, feminine and exotic, with Luna, which made me think of full moon camping nights. Bleu had a Euro-gypsy flavor to it, and doubled as a tribute to my dearly departed Girly Blue. And Beasty embodied the wild criatura, which I wanted to make sure was somehow represented. 

I want to send goodies out to Gemma, Crystal, Megg and Helen for such great suggestions that made the list of considerations. I hope you'll all email me your mailing addresses so that I can get your packages out. There were a host of contenders at Facebook, too, which provided tons of laughs and contemplation.

Ahhhhhh, thank you.

So now onto her beautification. Her island decor has been placed respectfully in storage. I've decided to go in a whole different direction with her wee curtains by borrowing a page out of Chopstix Waits ethnovintage design book (so to speak), who made a skirt for me that I CAN'T WEAR ENOUGH. And I'm also inspired by Julie Bartel's prolific use of batik, so think...lovechild, with a little native flair to make it feel like home.

Fabric teaser:

I've been doing more writing than painting lately, so this project is making my world a bit more colorful in the best possible way. Sitting down at the sewing machine is something I'm looking very forward to, and going to make time for this weekend, as well as another Day of Bundle.

The medicine bundles are flying out the door of my shop, and I want to express gratitude here for that. So many of you are stepping deeper still into your inner work and honoring the creatures who have come to you in the past, or are speaking to you now. I am really enjoying the outpouring of hearts eager to connect their growth and healing processes to the Earth.

Living outdoors whenever possible inspires me to do this in such a natural way. Hence, all of this pretty trailer business. More wild woman outings! I have half a mind to start formally orgainizing these things.

A wee wild woman *loves* this snowflake medallion batik. She threw it on the floor and promptly laid on it to show her approval.

 

Tell me, what is your idea of a nurturing, healing retreat? What elements do you include to make it magical for you?

Feel free to include links to where you are going, have been, or retreats you are facilitating.

 

Have a wonderful weekend, goddesses. Milk it. With cookies.

Guest Post + Fabric Shopping

Susannah Conway has graciously allowed me to post at her blog, if you'd like to check it out. What an honor, as I've looked up to her healing path and creative process for years.

I'm thrilled with everyone's trailer name suggestions! Thank you! I'll be considering them as I design her interior this week, while meeting another writing deadline (read: avoiding). I love Echino fabric and I've fallen in love with this one, though I don't know if it'll make the curtain call. Perhaps pillows. Hmm.

I also really love this print called Fuwari Fuwari, by Japanese designer Nani Iro. Still, this is love at first sight. I have to make sure it will last. Fuwari means something like *extraordinarily gentle movement*   :)

Teach Me

Earth teach me stillness

as the grasses are stilled with light.

Earth teach me suffering

as old stones suffer with memory.

Earth teach me humility

as blossoms are humble with beginning.

Earth teach me caring

as the mother who secures her young.

Earth teach me courage

as the tree which stands alone.

Earth teach me limitations

as the ant which crawls on the ground.

Earth teach me freedom

as the eagle which soars in the sky.

Earth teach me resignation

as the leaves which die in the fall.

Earth teach me regeneration

as the seed which rises in the spring.

Earth teach me to forget myself

as melted snow forgets its life.

Earth teach me to remember kindness

as dry fields weep with rain.

-Ute

*******************************

Badger, Spider, and Coyote are in the house.

*yip*

Medicine Lodge

Sioux Lodge

Saturday night I drove two and a half hours to Pasadena to attend my first lodge in a long time. It was a rainy torrent on the road, but I arrived just on time- to a roomful of strangers, all seeking a polishing of their spirits for the Solstice.

It was a powerful sweat, and a hot one, too. Especially that fourth round. The water-pourer kept that round short, but I could feel the water and all that I was letting go raining off of me in streams at that point, like tributaries flowing generously and sacrificially into the Great Mother.

Let me back up a bit and tell you about what I was really there for.

Midwinter is a traditional time for purification. It symbolizes a housecleaning and detoxification to prepare for the longer, deeper days of winter ahead. Though we celebrate the sun's return, it will be much colder before it gets warmer, in this hemisphere, anyway.

I consider that so many of us are Lightbringers. It is as if we have awoken to our collective purpose of giving away the best of ourselves so that others and the Earth will benefit. Thus, ceremoniously welcoming the Sun back to his seasonal throne, feels affirming to me. It feels a fitting celebration for the creative work ahead.

I went to release grief. Grief of the things which cannot be and that no longer are. Grief that clings and punishes when it has stayed on beyond its healing usefulness.

I was there to release fear, always fear. Because as soon as I think I'm the bravest mama in the world, something new creeps up and scares the holy beejeesus out of me and I have to learn to release that one.

I went to meet up with ego voices and the higher selves of those I share conflict with, to sit with them at the confrontation table of trance and heat, and to listen, and receive an understanding between us, and from higher Selves and guides, about how to proceed.

I went for messages from my ancestors about the things I have no control over- time-related grievances that can only be understood and accepted outside of the castle of time, in the deep and magical forest of trust and *always*.

I've carried many heavy burdens this year, as a year tends to pile up on a being, and this time of Peace on Earth is the perfect occasion to lighten the load and cultivate peace within. I felt called to sit in the lodge as the rain pelted the exterior, chanting and prayer-speaking in unison with fourteen others.

And I went to crawl out.

Exiting a sweat lodge feels like being born. Imagine the energy and heat that accumulates as we are making our way into this world. A Midwinter sweat, with it's focused intention and collective vision charges a lodge likewise. So as anticipated, I crawled out in the end, soaking wet and mostly naked, stopping to bless the Earth and my relations with my forehead to the wet ground, and stepped out into the darkness and cold winter rain outside the flap.

I went to brighten my soul up, release the funk, and ready my skin for the new year. My voice felt and sounded extra clear as I chatted and ate like a horse at the feast afterwards in the kitchen of the Firekeeper, who'd asked me to create a heartbeat while inside with one of his drums, at the instruction of the water-pourer. A huge honor.

A very young first time sweater spoke at the closing circle, saying that when he came in to get dressed, he'd studied himself in the mirror and noticed that something had transformed. His eyes were more...sparkly. He felt alive in a really different kind of way. It's no wonder the ancestors created so many roads to rise up and meet the Spirit. And it's not a bit surprising that so many of us are finding our ways back to them.

Full Moon Faced

Here is a wise little elder helper totem before she was completed for the Spirit Doll class in the online Wishstudio Playgroup, which posts on the 27th of this month. Contact Mindy if you missed the boat on this. Miles and I had SO much fun making them together! The video summary is how we finished up the offering. I think he did very well for his first time as what seemed like gig as a talk show host.

 

Gratitude + Play Tent Tipi #2

This is Rad Playtent Number Two, which I adapted for a preschool project for the school auction this past weekend. I busied myself in the sewing room until FIFTEEN minutes before it was ready to leave to set the thing up and then we realized that at the taller height, the uvc poles flexed and totally did not work. My dad jumped in and saved the day with steel conduit pipe from his hardware store and we were on our way.

The piece sold for $220 which was so thrilling for our class. Miles teacher's vision each year is for the class project to have the mark and name of every child on it, so another mama and I decided to let them handprint some jeans pockets and then stuff each of them with an outdoor themed toy like bubbles, jumpropes, etc. I am very proud of it.

This couldn't have been completed if not for the help of all of my family members. Brandon cut the giant pieces of canvas dropcloth, cut flag triangles, and helped set the tent up. He also engineered many of the changes we made from the last one. This one stands about nine feet tall.

My mom was onhand to watch cranky, coughing Ivy and sweet, coughing Miles several times as we hurriedly problem solved in the driveway!

This was truly a community project. It has lots of sweat, tears and tons of blood (damn pins) invested in it's seams.

Thank you, my peeps, for coming together for our awesome school.

There are many stories to tell about where we are at with the chronic issues with our health. But I'm going to save those for later in the week, when I've got some perspective. I hope to find some meaning in all of this. Today was a rough one, but we may be making some progress with a little surrender to western medicine. I'll report back to base in a couple of days...in the meantime, kiddies and I are taking another trip to the seashore to immerse our lungs in the salt air and attempt to breathe once and for all!

Rad Playtent Tutorial

Why stop at just sharing pictures of the fruits of my weekend labors? Actually, to say labor is stretching it- this pyramid-shaped tent was so easy: there was only minimal frustration at reading a handwritten pattern (created perhaps for more experienced seamstresses) and so I've interpreted it here along with my changes.

My suggestion is to read through the entire how-to before you begin.

 

Disclaimer: This thing is short. It only measures about four and a half feet tall. The key here is to use wider fabric, hence to work with larger triangles. The geometry is very simple, but it can be a challenge to find really wide, durable weight fabric.

Stay tuned for #2, where I (and my trusty companions) will create one large version from a 9' x 12' canvas dropcloth.

Ready?

You'll need:

3 yds fabric at least 54" wide **I used lightweight denim 58" wide.

Thread that compliments fabric and it's weight.

4- 5' poles or sticks **I used 3/4 UVC pipe from the hardware store.

Begin by taking your three yard length and folding it in half widthwise. Press it on  the fold line, open it back up and cut. This will give you 2- 1 1/2 yd panels at the original widths.

Next, find the center point and mark it with a fabric pencil. Make a fold from the center point to the lower corner on each side, which will yield 2 right triangles and 1 isosceles triangle per panel.

You should now have in front of you: two full triangles and 4 right triangles. 

Time to create big triangles out of the little ones for the front and back pieces using a single needle stitch and 1/4" seam allowance.

For the back of the tent, pin and then stitch two of the right triangles RST (right sides together aka face to face) from bottom to top, and adding a few backstitches at the end.

 

Press the seam open.

Next, create the front of the tent by stitching the other two right triangles RST, however, this time, begin your sewing 28" from the bottom. Pin everything together just as you did before, but begin the stitch at the 28" up mark. This will form the opening which to crawl through.

Stitch up to the top point and backstitch.

At this point, you may choose to finish the raw edges of your openings with a 1/4" hem or a zig-zag stitch. The denim selvage on my fabric looked kind of stylish, so I just left it raw.

Press seam open.

Now press the bottom edges of all 4 of your triangles up 1/4" and then fold it over another 1/4" to enclose it and hem each triangle seperately. An easy way to do this is to fold the edge up 1/2" and press, then open it up and fold the raw edge up to the pressed line, then over again.

You should have 4 triangles with neat hems all the way across them when you are finished.

**Now is the time to add any embroidery, applique or details you'd like to each panel. For the one I'm making for Miles' preschool auction, the kids will be stamping their handprints on some jeans pockets, which I'll stitch on, then stuff with little outdoor themed toys: plastic bugs, bubbles, a jumprope, etc.

I made a Pueblo inspired sun for this one by cutting some circles of fabric, putting the foot in the center of the stacked circles and sloppily moving it in a spiral shape. I cut the triangles, pinned them on, and used one continuous stitch to attach them:

Once your details are on, it is time to stitch the 4 triangular side panels together. 

Pin WST (wrong sides together/back to back) while matching the hemlines up, then sew the front triangle to one of the side panels. Stop sewing 6" from the top to leave an opening for the poles to fit through. Press seam open.

Now turn it inside out (flip it over) and iron down along the seam (one panel on top of the other).

Using a ruler (transparent ones work well for this), mark a line which measures 1 3/4" from the edge and pin.

Topstitch from bottom edge all the way up to the center of the triangle, while minding the opening left for the pole.

This is the casing for one pole and it should be on the INSIDE of your tent.

Admire your handiwork.

Repeat for other panels until the tent is all sewn and the casings are formed.

The last one will require you to flip the whole thing inside out, of course. Don't fret. You can do it!

Fit the pipes, sticks or poles into the casings and finesse the poles all the way open and taught. Tie the tops of the poles securely with fabric scraps. I used strips from an awesome toweling I found on a roll at the fabric store. It was very grippy because of it's coarse weave and it holds the poles together well.

If you use UVC pipe, as I did, you may choose to paint the top portion brown to resemble sticks. I'm going to replace mine with actual sticks once I scavenge them on this property, so I didn't bother to paint mine. Bamboo poles might be nice, too. Just make sure to measure them before you sew the casings since they vary a bit.

I also think I'm going to run a stitch across the bottoms of each casing hole because I  don't want to see the poles sticking out the bottoms. However, one could fashion a mat for the inside and use the exposed poles to attach the mat to, hence making them useful, if not handsome.

Use your creative imagination and make an awesome tent for you and the wee ones! Please feel free to email questions if you have them, as well.

**This project, though it has some Native American Indian inspiration/flair, does not have any authentic features, which is why I'm calling it a playtent, rather than a tipi. It is actually much more like a pyramid than a tent or a tipi, oddly enough! 

I wish it could go without saying that pixie campbell or pink coyote assumes no responsibility for playtent mishaps. Enjoy this project at your own risk!

Psst! Shop Update

Original paintings were added to the shop last night and today there is one left...free shipping on everything lasts until Sunday.

Meanwhile, I've been playing at many playgrounds with sacred babies and mommies and I'm loving the time outdoors this week. Tonite I sit down to begin sewing the awesome kids play tent tipi pyramid shelter-the practice run.

I'll be documenting the steps so that you can make one, too, should you feel so inclined.

Tables have been cleared. Music is queued. I've zenned the room for minimal cursing. Hopefully I'll be able to report tomorrow that it was simple and quick to whip up!

Easter Egg Diorama Tutorial

Amy of AllButtondUp requested instructions for this project, so here goes! These were so simple to make and Miles LOVED making them. One could get very fancy with the inside decorations, but we kept it simple in the interest of time and money. Let's see if I can keep this tutorial simple, which is the real challenge for me.

Step One: Mix 2 parts white glue and 1 part water in a paper plate and dip strips of paper (we used newspaper) in it then stick to a blown-up balloon in thin layers. We let each layer dry before layering on the next. We did two layers of newspaper and got up nice and close to the little balloon tie.

When it came time to layer on the colorful tissue paper, we decided to hang them up because the tissue paper was so thin, it kept sticking to the ramekins we'd had them resting in before. We took them down to layer on, then hung them up by ribbon from the light fixture to dry. We only did two layers of tissue because Miles was "ready to finish these things". 

Next, I drew a hole on the dried shell and then started to cut it with a steak knife and once I had about an inch, I switched to scissors. A craft knife would make me sound much more on top of my game here, but I'm choosing honesty. It was what was closest.

 

The balloon popped and made a lovely hissing sound as it pulled itself away from the walls of the glued inside, and I tugged on the ribbon a bit and out it came, leaving a hole at the top that I later glued a bit of tissue over.

After the holes were cut, we crumpled smallish bits of tissue and glued them around the opening to hide the steak-knifed, rough bits and to pretty it all up with some detail. I love how it sort of looks like little blossoms. It was during this step that I realized I could have begun the decoupaging with colored tissue and would not be seeing newsprint inside my work of art! But you choose...

Here is M's.

And here are our finished dioramas, you can see that Miles packed his with bubble gum eggs! as well as his Peep:

I took a bit of time to talk about eggs and rabbits and their significance during this time of year. I'm pretty sure Miles could recount the stories, but I also know he was obsessively jonesing for some Peeps while trying to be polite.

Thank you for indulging me here today with our little craft! I hope you enjoyed it.

Still A Bit Quiet Over Here

Outside of the drudgery gleeful task of gathering the tax information every night this week, Miles and I have been creating little treasures and making things for Ivy's special day on Saturday. Creativity has a softness to it these few days, of trance-like knot-tying and Astrud Gilberto on the hi-fi.

 

Brandon made some hallelujah-good salmon and pineapple fried rice for dinner tonite, which I shall not soon forget. Everyone devoured it, even Ivy! I'm feeling veeery Springish (said with elfish delight) since the time changed. We went outdoors after the holy meal and drummed the big, orange sun down-a Campbell tradition begun with friends back in the mountain days. 

 

Soft, slow, easy. The days breeze through, painted like an orchid...and I'm rendered {almost} speechless with contentedness.

Squam Squam Squam

Photo by Thea Coughlin.

You've heard it a million times, right? From all of us Squam bombs out here in blogland? It's becoming like a religious pilgrimage, isn't it?

One of the many aspects I love about SAW is how a good retreat booked far in advance can really set the tone for my year and help me to keep my pace steady as I grow creatively. I feel like it gives me something to reach my branches toward, and to take the steps I need to get to where I'm going before I arrive on the rocky steps of the Temple of the Creative Forest.

Rockywold Deephaven Camps, where SAW is held, was founded by two women, who I believe must have intuitively sensed the feminine, creative quality of the camps. Men who come to SAW at RDC seem very in touch with the creative vitality within them. Women who attend seem to be answering the natural, inner call to connect to that creative life-force inside. Children (okay, Miles is the only example I really have!) go positively into an artistic trance once they pick up on what is going on.

The camp is even shaped quite like a womb, the perfect place to plant the seeds of your creative intention and watch them take off into the sky on unfurled wings.

When I attended two years ago, I only knew that I was called to go, I had no idea what I'd be doing in the next couple of years. Ivy was cocooning in my belly and I was intent on not making any big plans or designing expectations I wouldn't be able to meet. What I did do was connect. I communed with new and old friends in my pregnant state and allowed myself to be without a purpose other than being present there. I trusted that the meaning of it would come to me when it was supposed to.

It was January a year ago when it hit me. I picked up the paintbrush, dusty with art school years behind me, and in a burst of fertile flames I began painting with no idea about what I would do next.

What came through felt like, and still does, a culmination of everything I love the most. The concepts of symbols I'd been studying, the circles I'd been sitting in, the animals running across my paths and through my dreams, color chips that had been taped into journals...it suddenly all made sense and all I could do was MAKE. I was freed from thinking about it!

A little aperture was giving way to a great opening, I'd become willing to embrace the unknown and allow my creative stirrings and the muse meet each other.

I realized during that winter transition how Squam Art Workshops had impacted me. It's creative energy gently held me that first Fall, never forcing the birth, just cradling the energy. I hadn't planned on attending this past Fall, but when Ivy was just two months old, I felt the urgent need to be there, and so the pioneering efforts to make the trek with the whole family were laid.

After the new sessions were announced last week, a unique opportunity arose for me to teach at The Pixie Session in August. Like so many times since I took myself to that maple and white pine wood, I have been summoned to show up and share something of myself.

I'll be teaching a mixed-media painting class which incorporates the use of animal totems, as well as a kids-and-parents class where we'll make forest floor finds/fiber arts folk full of symbols to carry back home with you and draw upon when you need it. I'm so excited to do this with families that my heart is about to burst!

My hope is that you will be able to experience what Squam has provided me with:  a well of creative energy and connected communal peeps to feed your soul with all year long, building the foundation and support for your artistic life.

In whatever glorious form it may take.

This Beautiful Week

My piece for CORE which is seen here missing a couple of elements, such as it's deer antler button closure and wooden cap. Her capelet is also unpressed. She was prettied up for her debut, I assure you.

This piece evolved from a very different idea into one which symbolizes so much to me. She speaks about integrating all of the parts: Innocent, wise, vulnerable, fragile, ill, reborn, enchanted, rescuer, shadow, wild; parts that we split off of and yearn for until we can piece ourselves back together. I'm sure you can guess which fairy tale I borrowed from to make my point.

Here she is in her glory. The Goddess McCabe Russell took this photo and I'm so grateful because I took only two pictures of the piece and they're both super dark. What you can't see in either of these photos is the fox tail that adorns her back bottom side. Perhaps someone got a good pic of her showing it.

CORE was an unbelievably fun night, filled with amazing music, familiar faces and art. I'm so proud to have been a part of it. The women who came to this venue were divine on so many levels and I've learned so much from them.

These are snaps from the show. I can't recall the titles of each one, so I'll just have to list the artists only! I wish I'd gotten more photos. Shame my hands were full of people and wine all night!

 

Christine Mason Miller.

Outi Harma.

Marisa Haedike.

Liz Kalloch.

Photo of Miles and Erin by the illuminating Stacy de la Rosa. Brandon braved the traffic with both little ones and came all the way to Los Angeles so Miles could see the display and meet some of the artists. I love my husband. He is so courageous and willing.

Sarah Ahearn.

Kelly Barton.

I have to thank Anne Carmack ONE MORE TIME for her vision, her energy, her grace and her unfaltering sense of glee at organizing this show. If you were able to come, thank you for your support! It was a lovefest, man.

And I can't mention the week without raising my tea mug to the finest Alpha Goddess to walk the earth, my Girly Blue. You my love, are what dog history is made of. How I miss you and yearn to kiss you and sniff you nose to nose. I'm remembering all you've taught me, recalling your beautiful, gentle strength. We love seeing you in our dreams, so please visit often. Peace to your ever joyful heart, sweet hound.

Nalu + Pono

 

On the fridge, torn from an old Communication  Arts magazine.

Nalu inspires me to practice *letting it be*. In Hawaiian, it means wave-but spiritually, it translates as "ride the wave". Riding the wave is an aspect I hope to grow more skilled at with practice. Pono is balance, like a surfer on a board. Having a husband who learned to surf when he was very young means that water metaphors come up often when we're discussing how to make life work for us. In Tao, water flows around it's obstacles, never complaining about the rocks in its way. It just just gracefully finds where it is meant to go, carving out a path when necessary and travelling well-worn canyons easily.

Adding more beauty in my work space is helping me flow through it happily. I've enjoyed bringing color and organization to the area where I spend time trying to meet self-imposed deadlines. I find that I stay in my seat and get the work done when I have inspiring things around. It surprises me that I've just gotten around to this task, but I suppose things unfold in their own time.

I'm so happy with this fabric! It's Bird on a Wire in raspberry, by Echino.

  

I got half a yard spontaneously when a different print I ordered wasn't available- and it wasn't quite enough to cover my little table, so I improvised and sewed some flaxy linen all around it. It's a nice, heavy upholstery weight printed linen, so I think it works well. It also comes in an oilcloth, wouldn't that be fun for a picnic table?

Just going with the flow over here. :)

 

Dances With Mermaids

Many of you already know McCabe Russell, the heartful and sassy woman behind Dancing Mermaid Designs and Mermaid Warriors e-Camp. I was curious to know more about her camps and what led her down this path, so I had to investigate.

What moves me so much about McCabe is her generous spirit with little people. To {speak} with her and read her blog is to know that she has so very much to give.  Her offering of art camp e-courses for girls is very dear to my heart. I don't think a person's energy could be better spent than by investing it in the creativity of girls and tweens. I get so sentimental when I watch the videos she's taken of the kids in her backyard camps-I mean, what if each one of us gathered children just once a summer in order to *see* them, *perceive* them and *listen* to their souls? What kind of ripple effect could that create? 

McCabe does a smashing job of creating safe, sacred space for the girls who attend her courses. I had a few questions for her and she was kind to indulge me. I want to share our exchange with you...

px: How did you begin this work? Was it always calling to you or did a specific event occur that shaped your path?

mc: i began this work 10 years ago when i was part of an outreach program that was geared towards supporting young girls. there was a booklet and outline i was supposed to follow, however, it seemed to me a bit dry just teaching text alone. i started sharing my own stories of questions and ache, along with art projects to keep it fresh and interesting. we created this magic that i will never forget, and the rest came from that place. 

px: What is the most profound thing someone has come away from your workshop with, that you are aware of?

 

mc: again, there have been so many profound moments, but there is one that sticks out. a 10 year old girl looked at me after class and said, " i know who i am now because of you."  of course this child already knew herself and i cannot take credit for her sage insight, but i was proud to provide the space where she could have this revelation. 

 

px: What, if anything, has healed within your own heart as a result of the Dancing Mermaid art camps?

mc: i feel like every time i teach my heart heals a little more. the parts of me that i felt were not enough~not pretty enough, smart enough, successful enough, etc...seem to be irrelevant while i teach. it is a process and practice healing yourself. some days are better than others, but at least i know i am going in the right direction.  this is what grounds me the most. 

px: What is your hope for all who attend your camp?

mc: my hope is that the girls leave knowing their greatness, in all its flaws and stumbles. i also hope that they learn to connect and learn from each other in a healthy, inspiring way. that they see the commonalities within each other not just their differences. 

Being a parent is no easy task. No matter how present you are with your children, there is always, ALWAYS room to give more empathy and creative attention to young people. Being a positive influence for a little girl (or boy) could save their lives. That's how deeply I believe in the work of the Dancing Mermaid! I'm so grateful that other women are taking her lead and starting their own gatherings, as in the case of my dear bud, Wendy. (Be sure to listen to "Beautiful Flower" by India Arie on Wen's embedded mp3 player for tears and the full effect).

Long before I had children, I heard someone say "It takes a village", in reference to raising kids, and it stuck with me. I've enjoyed sharing my friends with my kids, encouraging Miles to create his own relationships with trusted adults so that he could receive varying forms of attention and direction. I wish McCabe lived in my village. *sniff*

Right in our backyards, all of us can begin today. Thank you, McCabe!

Meet DelMar

 

Full Name: DelMar Ontaglioni

Position: All-Weather Friend

Voted: Most Likely to Give Empathy

Loves: The outdoors, especially when the skies are cloudy and one can smell the herbs

Favorite food: Spaghetti and s'meatballs

Favorite song: Fire and Rain

Best Known For: Listening ears and stylish trousers

 

 

Some Mighty Good Stuff

It's been a crazy couple of days at our house. Ivy took about an ounce of milk from a bottle tonite while Miles and I were out gathering a couple of jingly things to help her with the car ride northward where we'll be visiting with friends this weekend. Our little mermaid doesn't like riding in the car, and until tonite she would not take any pumped milk-she only digs the real thing. So we're making a little progress, so that Miles and I can have a date together now and then. When I arrived home she and Brandon were the best of friends in a way I haven't seen them before. So yummy. Daddy's mermaid girl...

She still thinks her bedtime is somewhere between eleven and twelve at night and I've created some habits out of exhaustion that I'm already regretting-like nursing her for an hour until she passes out. At a certain point, I just lost my ability to creatively problem solve. I'm working on it, but I think it's pretty safe to have "Frustrates Easily" tattooed on my forehead, as I've planned to for many years now.. I'm only staying up until 3 am a couple of nights per week to paint and do all of those things I wrote about last post. *sigh* The new mama sleepies are starting to catch up with me. I'm having some trouble keeping up and it kills me (my ego) to admit it. I wish I weren't one to spread myself so thin all the time. Balance.

Balance, Balance, Balance. Balance!

Enough kvetching. Here's a cute bag I sewed for one of Miles little friend's birthday last weekend. I had a lot of fun making it and it was super easy. The applique part did not turn out as um, professional as I wanted it to. But I don't think the handsome Cole minded. It's got a little vintage leather coat button secured to it for snazzy looks, but I made a velcro closure for easy ripping open when collecting treasures in a hurry. I stuffed it with healthy (er) snacks and a couple of little books and off we went. No wrapping required!

Below is a pic of M wearing his dinosaur hat, which I think looked like a cross between a fez and a pharoah, (fezroah?) in this shot. I snapped it right after he finished his slab of chocolate cake and captured the drunken euphoria at once. I love pictures like these, the ones that haunt you for a lifetime. We have a snap of my cousin from about 25 years ago making the kookiest face and no one ever forgets it. It's seared on the memory. I hope M won't hate me for this someday. I'm going to take my chances and live for the moment.

 

The absolute best news I've heard all day is that my dear, dear, sweet comrade Wendy over at MotherRising is having great luck and fully booked her first Mighty Girl Art Camp, an amazing week-long day camp for girls to live out their creative dreams in a rad tipi with goodies galore. I do believe my friend is the best qualified person to make a difference in a young girl's life. Hands down. If you are located in the D.C area, go find out more about enrollment! If you're inspired, create your own neighborhood goodliness this summer! If you'd like to make a contribution to share with the girls, contact Wendy! She'd love to hear from you! Thank you, Wen, for sharing your light with those who really need it. Your work is so important!

Have an inspired weekend, already. xo

Block Print

It seems like our craft room is undergoing a major shift-everything Miles and I set out to do must be done in little segments. We have to actually plan to be interrupted non-stop as I manage Madame Moo (because she's milky, not because she's a cow....c'mon!), gather snacks, supplies, clean up, and put out little fires all. day. long.

So today's project fit well within those limitations: block printing! This morning, I received an Etsy email with a tutorial in it from ArtMind, and I had all of the supplies on hand-synchronicity! It was so much fun, and now I plan to block print on anything I can get my hands on. It's all I want to do!

Here's what we did:

Miles drew a picture, "Happy Raincloud" (he signed his masterpiece after I scanned it):

I shrunk it down by 50% on the copier and then traced the image with a soft lead pencil. I placed that face down on the block and rubbed with a harder lead pencil to transfer it onto the block. A burnishing tool or a spoon would have worked just as well. It was surprisingly easy, so next time Miles will be able to do this part. I went over the lines with a sharpie once it was transferred onto the block to make carving it easier. Next, I washed the whole block in warm, soapy water.

Then I carved out the lines (not the negative space, that would have taken forever on a line drawing like this one) with a #2 lino cutter, and the block was finished.  The round eyes were a a little bit of a challenge, making the turns might be a bit better with a firmer block like Dick Blick's Blick Blue Easy-To-Cut. We squidged some block print ink out onto the paper palette and ran the small brayer through it until it was totally covered.

 

Both of us practiced applying the ink to the entire block and then pressing it on to different cardstocks and papers. Our favorite was plain old, white cardstock because the blue looked good against it and the image came through the most crisp on white. We'd be wise to glue it down on a piece of wood for easier, stamp-like application, but we were too excited to go to the trouble today. When we might only have 5 minutes to create, we have to cut to the chase. (Note to self: buy a bottle of ink extender)

The clean-up couldn't have been more simple, just water and a little bit of a paintbrush in the small cuts rinsed off all of the ink in seconds! Now we have some spiffy cards to send to the grandfolks and far away friends!

         

 

 

Everyone Loves a Log

I pawned Ivy off on Brandon last night, quite late, because I was dying to get into my studio and doink around with an idea that I've been wanting to figure out. Well, two ideas. He's a good sport- had her down snoozing in minutes and I'd been laboring anxiously for over an hour. Sometimes I do not have the magic touch. *Sigh*

One of the idea's is at my husband's urging, well, kind of. He has long been nagging me to play with Django Reinhardt's image in some way-I think he may have been thinking a painting, but my mind meandered to...embroidery! Not just any embroidery, though-freehand machine stitched embroidery! I crack myself up trying to teach myself something new all the time. It's too maddening to work on the same things over and over again, perhaps. I need to play in addition to doing what I do routinely.  Keeps the gears freshly turning.

So he made the sketch, after I bombed at it-mine looked like Peter Lorre's and Poncho Villa's lovechild. I couldn't capture the features that make the grandfather of gypsy jazz so recognizable.  Here is what I came up with based on Brandon's sketch:

And a bit closer:

 

I kind of like the haphazard hair, and I like the way his moustache turned out. I'd love to get my stitches together and turn him into one of these! I'm now planning to stalk Sammi-I think her embroidery people are wowzer.

Then I had to (no choice here) stay up ungodly late and cover up an old onesie that Aunt Jill had given us for Miles when he was a babe.

"Metal Baby" doesn't quite capture Ivy's persona, so I created something that was intricate, yet solid:

 

 

A simple log of turquoise thread on flaxy linen. Perhaps it will actually be cool enough to wear long sleeves for a short time!

The weather is cooling down after a heatwave for the past few days that has made me very cranky! Retreating into my sewing machine has been a welcome respite-I'm not ready for hot weather yet! We often say there is no real Spring here in the desert-like valley floor, it just goes from cool to hot, immediately. Unbearable!

My soul yearns to live somewhere cool again, where going outside is a visual feast and pleasure on my skin. Here I race the kids to the car, crank up the freon and curse the searing hot buckles of their carseats.  Miles must tire of me saying, "Sweetheart, take a drink of your icewater, your cheeks are really red!" And griping the entire drive to anywhere.

I will take the 74 degree forecast and milk it for all it's worth-even if it means I won't be making anymore stitchery masterpieces for a little while!

Alumi-nated

Miles and I decided to collage some robots yesterday morning.  As the sunshine streamed through the window, and Ivy slept-giving us precious one-on-one creative time together that we've been missing terribly-we cut, pasted and chatted away. Mostly chatted about the amazing things that robots can do-like "build glass" and "just talk by squeaking".

 

 

He put a heart on her torso-for love, of course. (Wall-E has definitely had an impact)

 

 

He decided to call her......wait for it.......ALuminNa, because "she's made of aluh-mih-nuhm fole". Again, no excited coaching from me, believe it or not-he came up with this all on his own.

 

Today I won a trophy for Largest Bags Under Eyes Since the Beginning of Time. [Oops, was that a scoop of caffeinated coffee grounds that accidentally fell into the filter?] Not that Ivy didn't sleep a nice 5 hour stretch last night-she did. But the colicky evening began at 7pm instead of 8pm and took its toll on my confidence after a time.  The  thing I want to do most is to be able to soothe and comfort my baby. Inconsolable crying for several hours (a hallmark of the early days with both of my children) undermines my ability to believe that I'm doing everything I can. I just keep asking myself-what else should I be doing that I can't see right now???  And that really messes with me! It seems not to matter that I know this dance very well and I know it passes just before I crack.

Oh, it still totally messes with me! And I've been as ungraceful as I can possibly be at times, feeling sore, haggard and tired plus all of those things Oriah Mountain Dreamer writes about in The Invitation.

I'm YEARNING for some creative time just for me.  You might remember that I was on fire in the weeks leading up to her birth. There's an Etsy store announcement in my future (Earth Day? Too ambitious?), a new banner stirring in the pot-if only in my head, and some block prints to be carved. She will only be this tiny and needy for such a short, bittersweet period of time. While I'm enjoying her immensely, I realize that all of life is about balance-about finding those things that cause glittering, dripping-with-honey manna to appear before me so that I have some sort of reserves to draw on in the most delicate moments. Creating anything makes everything right for a while.

 

My little Ivy sweetpea, climbing up into her life at 4 weeks old today.

 

Celebrating in Color

Fall has always been my favorite season, hands down, even though I live in a region where Fall hardly shows up for the party. This is probably why we try to make it to the northeast when that time of year rolls around.  Spring has always been a welcome friend at my door, too. However, living in California every day of my life thus far, where I take warm weather for granted, it doesn't dazzle me like it does my northern cronies.

This year it's been a little different. Because Ivy was due in Spring (and was born the first day of), I've perked up to all of the various meanings of the season and have put more effort into celebrating it.  Also, because I like to teach M about the seasons, and he's now at a ripe age to be really interested in such things.

So we did some funny fun things today. Above is a jelly bean bracelet inspired by Mrs. D Lightful, and below, M's version.

And yet another:

These were fun, fast and totally cheap-a roll of stretchy string, a needle and some jelly bellies.  I'm going to wear mine to Easter breks tomorrow, but M ate his right away...

We also made some yummy cupcakes and adorned them with picks made using a free download from My Crafty Mess.

 

We are waiting for our brew to finish coloring our eggs overnite-but here is a teaser of what's to come:

            

 

I'll post pictures of how the eggs turned out tomorrow-some are looking very promising while other ones have completely bombed-such as the slimy cinnamon...yuck! I also forgot how disgusting cabbage smells when boiling-we had to throw open all of the windows and light some candles. We're really suffering for our craft here trying to avoid Yellow #5. Martha  and Stephanie walked us through this one.

Happy Spring, everyone!

Peace

     

Chillin' with a headcold and making ornaments. 

Drinking GoodBelly and taking my vitties. 

Back soon.

Fear and Trusting in Lost Spaces

After tea on my favorite corner of the couch that has been seeing a lot of my bum lately, I caught up on some of my favorite blogs and knitted while the pages loaded.  I've been holding my breath to see a post from the sweet Boho that her baby boy is on his way.  I can hardly stand the suspense!

I spend so much time with my head in my family matters, my local interests, and being generally avoidant of what is going on in blogland that I thought Out of the Loop would be the perfect name for a knit design company!  I truly feel left out of the doin's most of the time.  I have a little circle that I stay connected with, and many cyber relations often fall to the wayside.  I think I'm okay with that, but there are just so many interesting people doing the most amazing things (check out any of the links in my sidebar for a taste of what some really creative peeps are doing). When I don't keep up I wish I'd done a better job of staying in the loop.

This business of the "placental bleb" (can you believe it's really a word-I thought it was a typo) and "lake of blood" on my babe's ingoing and outgoing feedsack is probably not a big deal and most of the time I don't think of it.  But I had a meltdown in the shower yesterday (why always the shower?) because my imaginative fearfulness ran away without my noticing and I imagined that if I had to birth in a hospital because of a condition that needed that sort of care-what could happen to my early moments of bonding?  Or what if in the case of a C-sec, I didn't get to see my baby for hours?  Would nurses bathe her roughly and stick her with needles and drugs I haven't authorized them to use? I freaked out in tears at the thought of it and then the shower washed it all away and I was totally okay again.

I have tried to make a stern practice of being fearless in nearly everything I do.  It really goes against the way I was raised, so I make a point to dismiss or face fears with as much courage and faith as I can in the moment.  But I find myself needing to freak out to unsettling news sometimes and then as it sinks in and my higher self comes back into the picture, sensible thoughts return rather quickly.  I can't hold it against myself for overreacting if it's only for a short little time, can I?

I know well that birth is not something to be idealized or controlled.  I'm prepared to be as fearless as I can be about it again.  But no matter how many times you do it, there are still so many unknowns.  Can anyone be a pro at childbirth?  Each little bean comes with his or her own mysteries about how they will come in. It requires so much trust- and a few trusty distractions, as well.

I've been knitting up a storm preparing for a faire this weekend and another one the weekend after Thanksgiving.  I'm excited to show my work, to see what the economic climate is like in the crafter's market, to meet with people and have them try on my goodies.  It has been a very long time since I've put myself out there this way and it is going to be fun to share table space with some amazing glass and jewelry designing friends.

Here are yet another pair of wristwarmers (with thumbholes one can't see in this pic) that I finished a bit ago.  I like working with the thick/thin yarn-more alpaca-just so delicious and four times warmer than wool, it is said.

 

I think my biggest inspiration these days comes from unexpected sources.  I love hearing about grassroots movers and shakers who are finding different ways to create incomes while making room to stay home with the babes, growing food for the neighbors in their yards, travelling, creating local products and information sources that nourish the earth and protect young people from poisons.  I love what is happening in our country right now.  We have a mess to clean up, but never before have I felt so...um...united.  There have been times where I've wondered what the heck I was thinking to have children in such a time of corruptness in politics-and then there are days like the ones I've been having lately.  Despite real or imagined fears, I feel a deep sense of peace that everything will be alright.

Hard Cheese and Why I Love Knitting

I'm thinking of taking a no plastics for a week pledge to raise my own awareness of how much plastic our household consumes (then tosses into the recycling bin....or not, in some cases of saran and other baddies).  If you haven't seen pictures of the Great Pacific Garbage Dump, it may alarm you into swearing off of polymers, too.  Olga Naidenko's article at Enviroblog came across my inbox and led me on a scavenger hunt, which led me to this funny gal from Oakland, who is doing all sorts of neat comparisons to decide which commonly used grocery and household items we can replace in order to avoid adding to the plastic grossness.  Anyone know of a great plastic-wrapping-free cheese from CA? 

Every once in a frequent while,  I need to reassess consumption around here.  Miles birthday was an example of a lot of excess wrapping paper, plastic toys, giant gift bags, and things that I will be trying to find a home for when Spring cleaning and the nesting season kicks in.  I can tell you that this Christmas there will be major moratoriums.  If I thought I could do it, I would commit to handmaking all of our gifts, but I just don't know what I'll have time for.  I don't think it will be that challenging to select or make thoughtful, minimumally-packaged gifts, but I will forego Tyvek (which I don't use that much of anyhow) in favor of small boxes and no stuffin for the peeps far away .

Is it that time of year already!?  I'm going to try to put a list of my favorite gifts together again this year and also just throw out there that not giving gifts is totally ok with me, too.  What about you?  Would it ruin the holidays to adore someone in such a way that doesn't involve the purchase or exchange of items?  Of course, it is a little harder with the wee ones.

Totally changing the subject...

Design Studio, 5:20 am this morning:

 

Knitting Schmitting, are you tired of hearing about it yet?

Ten things I love about knitting:

1. Totally portable, follows me from room to room, to work or dr.'s office in the bottom of my purse and can be stopped and started at any time.

2. Kiddie-friendly, can be dropped immediately to wipe someone's bum or kiss a boo boo, with no handwashing or de-chemicalling required to do so.

3.  When natural materials are used, they can all go straight back to the earth (or compost pile) without harming groundwater or future generations.

4. My workshop is in bed. Or anywhere I want it to be in the moment!

5. Doesn't cut into my social life. With a headphone on, I can talk on the phone and do it. (nice social life)

6. Near instant gratification

7. Yarn that stretches even just a little forgives the advanced beginner

8. The colors the colors the COLORS!!!!

9. Cackling women that discuss the male anatomy in art while knitting in the yarn shop crack me up and help me fix my mistakes

10. Silence and sitting still have never been so fun

Yarn Stash Legwarmers

I started a new knitting project last night that I'm kind of excited about.  It's a pair of legwarmers to stick out the top of my boots-likely for after the holidays at this rate, with it being so warm out!  I always loved legwarmers, but we don't have a strong motivation to wear them in CA.  I run a bit cold, so perhaps I'll get some use out of them...  I'm using some cheap ass yarn from Jo-Ann, leftover from Hurricane Holli's visit this summer, when we set out to knit a storm and ended up with a sprinkle.  It will be good enough to figure out my pattern and learn how many stitches it will take to wrap around my chickeny legs, though I may have to reknit it 3 times.  Because who needs patterns, right??  And I plan to stitch them up the back since I'm using straight needles, but once I sort it all out I'll have to make them on circulars like a sane person.

 

I am declaring No More Cheap Ass Yarn, which means no more shopping at Jo-Ann and that hideous Michael's, which I am loathe to even set foot in.  Their yarn lacks personality, and all comes from suspicious sources.  We have a wonderful yarn store here and of course there are Purl Soho and The Yarn Tree to buy from online, but closer would even be better.  Anyone know of a great west coast yarn supplier online?

I am going to have to move my family to a colder climate if wool is my new medium of choice!  I have to turn on the air conditioning just to test out my scarves!!  I love wool because, when grown and harvested consciously, no one gets hurt, it is completely non-toxic, and working with it is a tradtional living art that is so functional yet can be very ornamental, personal and artistic.  I suppose the sheep eventually become mutton pie, though.  Yikes.  Check out these gourmet babes.

I love this ranch because they are working so hard with native animals, seeking truly creative solutions to keeping their flocks safe.  I admire the effort that they are putting into conservation.  Wolves just think sheep are yummy.  Can you blame them?

Happy day, you.

Beautiful Boy

   

Dearest Readers,

My sweet thing turned three today and we hearted many birthday moments starting early yesterday.  We even went to dollar scoop last night at Baskin Robbins and ate chocolate peanut butter swirl ice cream, the very kind I devoured too much of the night before M came knocking on my cellar door at four a.m.

We looked at pictures of his birth, in which he pointed to his head poking out of aforementioned cellar door and said, "What's that thing?!"  He knows what "that thing" is, it was his moppish conehead he was curious about.  I'm kind of dumbfounded when I speak about motherhood.  I don't want to say it's the best, most important thing in the world-but it is to me.  Read this post because she says it so, so much better than I do.

B and I have been up late recent nights creating a banging wall as our gift to Miles and we finished it up tonite, just in time to let him have some whacks before the sun went down.  Whether the idea was the pure genius of Amanda Soule or not, I credit her for the inspiration-page 197 of The Creative Family.  What magic comes from clanging away uncontrollably on 8 feet of pots, pans, and a copper fish mold!  (I'll snap some better photos when there is light and share some of the kitschy items, such as the brass cat that I'm betting was at the Salvation Army for years).  I'd been longing to try out one of Amanda's more complex projects and M's bday was the perfect opportunity with a deadline.

 

After we snugged him into bed, far past his bedtime and hopped up on peanut butter cake (as pictured above and compliments of M and Nana), I sat down to assemble a mixed cd party favor for his friends.  I stumbled onto Ben Harper's version of Beautiful Boy and even though I nearly go through a whole $1.79 box of kleenex, I had to listen to it a few times.  Stinkin' John Lennon keeping us in tears long after his departure...

I have tucked a letter to M, about all that he's doing now and how he amazes us with his curiosity, kindness and gentle ways, into the metal box I keep such things in.  The container spills over with sweetness from friends and family and it fills my heart to know that there is so much love in this life to share with all those who really need it, if we can take the time.  A kind gesture goes a long, long way deep into one's heart and stays there like a talisman for when a time comes that we need to remember we are worthwhile and sacred.  I, and my family, are so blessed to be so full-and to have extra to share with others.

Hugs into cyberspace,

pix

Floating in a Sea of Green

I'm still totally digesting what I came back from SquamFest with.  I genuinely am  struggling to put it into words, but verbalizing hasn't been my strength lately, so I'm cutting myself a bit of slack. 

I am feeling rather shot out of a canon to continue with the things I learned in Nina's class, and I'll soon post a photo up of my necklace and my unfinished book.  The crafty aspect of this new medium (new to me) is appealing, but much more than that, I love how handsy the process is.  Touching metal, pounding  copper, the sulfury stinkiness of it all-I'm just digging it.  I'm trying to problem solve, only in my head so far, and sort out how to apply some of the techniques I've learned into my mixed media wall art.  I don't know if I'll be able to do it, but it's fun to think about.

I also loved seeing so many familiar faces round the lunch tables, though I didn't have much time being off-campus to socialize and catch up with everyone. It was just lovely all the same to be in a room with people I have created with before and have come to adore-and miss. 

Gathering in order to raise creative consciousness and form connections with other creatives is so important to me.  It is very easy to isolate as a creative (and as a mom) and it takes enormous commitment (and bawlz) for so many of us to travel as far as we did in order to participate in this special meeting of the minds.  I think Nina's website, and Kelly Rae's, as well as gobs of others, have links to similar events such as ArtFest and Art & Soul, which might be closer to you than all-the-way-across-the-bloody-country-New Hampshire. (This in no way means New England doesn't rock my pants off-I'm just blessed to have had the time and resources to make the journey.)

My one wish would have been to have asked about on-site accomodations for my family. I'm peeved I didn't do this, because an inordinate amount of time, groceries and gasoline were spent travelling back and forth to Moultenborough to dine and sleep with my babe when we could have all been in the same place.  For any of you who are attachment parenting or just don't want to leave your family behind for 5-6 days, I recommend exploring the option- the camp is huge, the food is lovely and the scenery incomparable.  A couple of women in my class had their husbands join them at some point during the stay and they enjoyed the golfing, kayaking, etc., while we crafted away.

In other news, it was my birthday yesterday and I enjoyed some fine mexican food, as that cuisine is sorely lacking in the NE.  So I'm 37 now, waddling about, larger at four months than I was at six with M, and needing to plan another birth.  I told a friend today that this one is so different, I don't get to daydream about it as much because I'm busy entertaining the real deal in front of me.  I have fear that the littlest one is already getting the shaft and that makes me want to tune in and focus on *him or her*.  But when? 

I have become one of those kvetchers who never has enough TIME!  Or sleep...

Love to you in blogland...sleep tight.

How Do I Begin?

Returning from Squam Art Workshop has left me with many inspired feelings, as well as being quite exhausted.  I hardly know where to begin to describe how significant this experience has been for me.  Perhaps I'll tease you at least a little, as I'm sure I'll be talking about the event for a while as I digest and find a way to put it into words.

 

Being a tree-lover who now lives in the desert, New England is a balm on my soul.  The birch, maple, oak and white pine are so thick and dense, a feast for my spirit.  That being said, imagine being plopped down smack in the middle of my idea of heaven on earth and then let me play for long stretches of hours in a trance...creating!  With dozens of women I love and admire!

We made a big family adventure out of it and left five days before the festival began, starting in Boston and visiting my college roommate and her sister.  We walked around Harvard Square eating ice cream and Italian food, enjoying one of the loveliest cities in the country.

 

It was so worth it to take some extra time to make our leisurely way up to the lakes region of New Hampshire.  We stopped in Methuen, Mass to get a much-needed dose of my girl, Nina, even though we'd be seeing her at Squam.  Her kids were so sweet!  We had an amazing lunch and the kids painted pumpkins grown in Nina's dad's garden.

 

We devoured the best clam chowder in Portsmouth, NH, loads more chocolate ice cream and had so much fun at The Friendly Toast downtown- where Brandon ate Almond Joy pancakes.  Delish.  Because it's all about the food.  We happened into Nahcotta for the Enormous Tiny Art Show and were so excited to see work hanging by artists we actually knew-several of which would be partying down at SAW.  What fortune!

This is all my little jet-lagged fingers can muster tonite-I will get into the nitty grits tomorrow.  There is too much to share to try to squeeze it all in in just one post!