Pink Coyote

A Manifesto of Faith

Faith, 2011.

It's been a long time since I've writ a manifesto. I've been hearing a lot of fear in circulation, so here's my response. If I missed one, feel free to add it in the comments. Let's make sure to cover it all. Here goes:

 

I have faith that because I am a woman, I am a fertile, creative being.

I have faith that my wild ways are teaching me valuable lessons about loving deep, exploring the frontiers, and transcending judgment of myself and others.

I have faith that my acts of creation have a healing effect on the planet, and that I do not need to personally deliver aid to a third world country in order to spread mass seeds of goodness and beauty.

I have faith that I deserve the time to create in my unique way.

I have faith that my children will be okay when I do this.

I have faith that my partner will be okay (and not abandon me) when I do this.

I have faith that creating my works is not, nor will it ever be, a selfish act.

I have faith that when something shifts for me, and I change, my dear ones will still love and appreciate me.

I have faith in my ability to connect with Source and download inspiration from Sky, Fire, Waters, and Earth.

I have faith that I will overcome feeling guilty about taking time for myself.

I have faith that I'll get to a place where nothing will stop me from creating when I require it.

I have faith that I can clear the obstacles that stand between me and my exquisite creative life, and I am not afraid to ask for help with this.

I have faith that my creative acts can sustain me.

I have faith in my ability to find out what wants to be expressed from deep within me that is my very own.

I have faith that I'll be able to balance my spiritual creative life with my family life.

I have faith that my creative babies know how to birth themselves, that I am the carrier and the nurturer, but ultimately they have a life of their own to live, and I must give it to them.

I have faith that I will find my creative community and spiritual sisters.

I have faith that I am not Too Much, Too Big or Too Vocal.

I have faith that I am not Too Little, Too Small or Too Quiet.

I have faith that my voice and my messages are important and create vitality for others.

I have faith that the vibrant threads that are my future projects are on their way to me now.

I have faith that my work, art and life will be well supported.

In this I Trust.

 

 

Wilderness Home Companion

Tonight I'm sitting up in bed and setting out to do some writing on a project that is very dear to my heart and a long time comin'. I washed my feet and pampered them with lavender sugar scrub (jarred up by a writerly friend) to ground myself. I smudged with white sage. I gathered my companions, an old journal, a new one, and a notebook from a most inspiring friend. I called out for Hawk, who has shown up to guide me through this process- taking a necessary dose of my own medicine. I brushed my teeth and put in earplugs. I kissed my babies goodnight and now here I am...

In the silence with my heartbeat. Facing the blank canvas. Soft paws ready to do some trekking into unknown territory. I'm beyond feeling trepidation about these sorts of things. My concerns tonight are with the distillation process, will I have access to the place of intuitive wisdom? I've enjoyed helping others to access it for themselves, as I experienced at SAW, but now it's my turn to head down into the hazy, sparkling goldmines. I'm excited.

Light a candle for me down there if you're walking this extraordinary path, too. I'll do the same for you.

Whale Medicine

Did I mention that when I go to Squam next week, I get to room with Maya? I'm um....SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS. Er, I've had a girl crush on her for a couple of years (she and her barn) and so this is kind of like a dream come true for me. I'm taking wine and Fearless Chocolate because our cabin (which is called Shelter, by the way) is going to exude fearlessness. And because I want to impress her with my knowledge of such things.

I've been thinking a lot about my own creative offerings here lately. It's important to me that I try as hard as I can to keep my work as original as possible. It means I have to glance into a reference book when I'm making a medicine bundle, but that I slam it shut after a few minutes so that I can try to create something that is really about my experience in communication with these elements and not about what has already been written about them. It can be very tough, especially if I'm worn out and busy-headed. My creative process is something I intend to sit down to with sacredness in mind-I want to honor the time and the process and not regurgitate what the experts already know best.

Today Ivy jabbed a bobby pin in her ear about twenty minutes after I sat down, stones and herbs in hand, and so I basically threw everything into the air and ran to beat her Dad into the bathroom. This is only one of the kind of distractions I face many times per day. Every mama I know has the same story, so, no pity please.

My question is how do we keep our visions and projects really authentic?

I was working on a Whale bundle tonight and I read in Animal Speak that “Creativity for creativity's sake is not what Whale teaches. It awakens great depths of inspiration...”

Right away what struck me is that I don't do very much playing/playing around when I sit down to get creative. I like to make a mess, but I'm very focused, even when I paint. If I'm not in somewhat of a trance state, I don't feel like I'm pulling up those reserves, which are so full of ancient information and archetypal goodness. Yet, it's very easy with an ocean of distractions surrounding me to get stuck and sit here creatively constipated and stalling, while I try to get back on track.

When I'm witching it up in the kitchen, it's a whole different ballgame. I can chew up a spiky root and spit it into a glass of vodka like a Yankee pitcher- it's intensely fun and I can integrate play with it. But there is something about painting and making bundles that makes me all serious-like. I think my chin scrunches up even. I can't multitask very well during those times.

I don't have a spelled-out answer for how to keep your work truly authentic, serving your deepest human intent. I don't know if I could ever name that intuitive process that you likely have felt, too, the ones where you feel your soul infusing the piece of art, music, food, etc. These often become our "favorite" pieces, right?

Nevermind that I'm going to teach this very thing at Squam next week. How to tap the intuition, how to get to the bottom of the ocean where the Oracle Muse lives to share her stories with you so you can bring them to life. I trust that as a class, we will find our wild way together... and alone.

Whale is about going deeeeeeeeeeeeeep. I can hear her sounds bouncing off of the ocean floor as she communicates those sacred messages up. I hope you enjoy her- I felt really honored to be working with her. She is so lovingly intolerant of fear and stuckness! Flowing big and bold with the currents...

WHALE: Stepping Into Vibrant Potential

This bundle is about allowing your true colors to come forth and be expressed. It promotes vitality, longevity, and fruition of creative vision. It is about tuning into YOUR authentic offerings that are unique to YOU, and trusting that deepest voice that speaks only truth. It is about discovering the courage to share that song with the world.

Colorful Bornite is an iridescent mineral that captivates attention with it's reflective magentas and chromatic blues. Stone expert Melody says, “This mineral can bring freshness and newness to one's life. It stimulates the inner spirit to seek further heights and substantiates ones ability to enjoy happiness in the moment". It is a very positive and supportive stone which is experienced energetically as a loop that circles around transforming negativity into what she calls “pure beneficial energy”. When I read this, I immediately thought of the sonic waves whales send out, and how that mimicks the ripple effect we experience traveling outward when we're doing the work that serves our divine human intent. This stone speaks of heart and harmony, which is akin to the contract we make when we commit to our creativity and the soul-nourishment it provides. It is also known to stimulate adrenaline, which is a rush often felt when on the right path. Bornite provides energy to move towards vitality in life.

Kelp is included for it's protective qualities on the immune system and it's ancient healing properties. Kelp contains iodine, necessary to good health, but often forgotten from the diet. Kelp feeds many species of undersea and seaside communities, providing essential nutrients to the body and protection from free radicals, including those caused by nuclear radiation. When our creativity is under attack from the doing and thinking-too-much mentality so common in patriarchal societies, it is not unlike fallout. Reaching our full potential can feel impossible. Kelp is a swaying reminder, deep in the waters of the Earth's womb that growth is not only possible, it can also be all the nourishment we need.

Pansy is here to bring cheerfulness, love and beauty to the magic of this bundle. It is commonly associated with “loving thoughts”, required when embracing the potential that lies ahead. It is ever important not to turn on the Self when discouraged, and Pansy is here as a heartsease, (one of it's common botanical names), to offer comfort and protection when facing obstacles. Pansies re-seed themselves, thus they are prolific. They seldom have problems with disease and insects, which tells us that they are hardy and tolerant, despite their delicate appearances. Beautiful Pansy is used medicinally to treat afflictions of the skin, and as soon as I read this I thought about how sometimes we're “itching” to share ourselves and feel fully expressed, yet we lack the trust in our own voice to speak it out and take those risks. Pansy is also used to induce labor, which, when used as a tonic, strengthens those notions already within us.

Whale is the Mother within the Great Mother. She is a magnificent and feminine songstress of the sea, using her ultimate gift of sensitivity to sound to communicate and “sing” to, and with, her tribal pod. She does not hold back, breaching out of the water and showing her shiny skin to the Sun, rejoicing in the vibrancy of life by sharing that which she has discovered down in the deep blue. Whale does not re-enact what others are doing. She is brave in tapping her own vast intuitive resources for inspiration. Whale is a creature of great depth, reflecting that we each have the power to swim down into the unconscious for strength and life-enriching nutrients that are seasoned with what is most true for the individual. She teaches us how to TRUST our own voice and not look to others for too much direction. Whales communicate with sonar, and can perceive themselves and those around them authentically and without projection. Whale does not get caught up in that which does not serve her deepest intent. She has perfected the art of knowing what her gifts are and is unafraid to breathe them up into life for the Earth and Sky to receive.

 

Terra Incognita

Seems I've been a pioneer since the day I was born. One of my grandparents' teachings, by way of their legacy of migrant farmworking, is learning to trust the unknown. The thought of it makes so many of us shrink back. An old medieval cartography term used was HIC SVNT DRACONES, or "Here be dragons".

The worst of the beasts, of course, are found in my mind, and so creating a habit of dismissing them to pasture seems to help me put one brave foot in front of the other.

I feel surrounded by heart-expansionists everywhere; how can anyone feel alone with this sense of collective courage? Now that so much of the outer world has been discovered, claimed...flagged, the next level is goldmining that fourth chakra. Testing it's colors.

Violet Flame, by Laurie of primalpainter.

I sat down to write about expansionism, about growing my vision as an artist, taking on homeschooling, moving into a studio space downtown...I generally come here to share what's going on in my head and heart, but I think what wants to be shared is simply the potential for the human heart to grow.

I wrote last about squeezing through the eye of a needle, and let me tell you, I did not see that coming. I'd put some layers of protection around my heart over the years regarding a very tender matter and I really never saw it coming off. I didn't see it needing to come off. I envisioned moving forward, but with these petals wrapped securely around. Some of the feelings were of disappointment, fierce independence, heartache, closed doors, lack of connection, soul loss, impossibility, doneness, fear, (I'm getting all weepy as I go through them) guardedness. I had not been specific about what I wanted for many years, and the universe and I were experiencing some static in our transmissions to each other. I'd sacrificed something I hadn't intended to by not being clear, and my heart showed me that it was hurting because of it. Hearts tell us everything we need to know, of course, but they can be so softspoken, lost among the brain's loud directives, in my case.

I'm still in a sort of shock about how the wind suddenly changed direction as soon as I named what I wanted out loud. All I'd been clutching had to burn to the ground right in front of me. That catalog of grievances had become part of me, comfortable, familiar. I unconsciously didn't want to release them, because they would take my protection with them when they left. But I wasn't meant to walk through life armored, even in rose petals or a really awesome poncho. I believe I am meant to risk more and that requires naked vulnerability. Each day I practice, I become a bigger fan of it. I do feel raw, and I do have to assess whether to put on a very temporary cloak in order to pass through a doorway, but it's as if I've already decided to immediately remove it once I'm through. Is this making any sense or am I just being too damn cryptic?

Walking into and through the unknown is a very personal and private frontierism. Dragons, lions...they are all still here breathing hotly at me. I am not fearless. What I want to say is that I am going forward in my life with a host of wonderful things-amazing creations and new space that I can't wait to share with you.

But what is flowing out today from my bubbling stream of consciousness is the message that will perhaps be woven into a more colorful story someday, one of dropping all that covers my heart in order to be green. Willingly ignorant.

Blissfully foolish.

Wild.

 

 

Guest Post + Fabric Shopping

Susannah Conway has graciously allowed me to post at her blog, if you'd like to check it out. What an honor, as I've looked up to her healing path and creative process for years.

I'm thrilled with everyone's trailer name suggestions! Thank you! I'll be considering them as I design her interior this week, while meeting another writing deadline (read: avoiding). I love Echino fabric and I've fallen in love with this one, though I don't know if it'll make the curtain call. Perhaps pillows. Hmm.

I also really love this print called Fuwari Fuwari, by Japanese designer Nani Iro. Still, this is love at first sight. I have to make sure it will last. Fuwari means something like *extraordinarily gentle movement*   :)

Firetending

Creative Fire, by Aimee Dolich of Artsyville

 

"I hate quotations. Tell me what you know!"

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

It seems the topic of authenticity comes up quite frequently. I don't know much about the Laws of Attraction, haven't read anything about it, but I knew I wanted to write about it when I overheard a friend talking about how when she stretches herself toward her own authentic voice and vision, really great results come of it.

The drive to locate and then tap that special something within oneself is strong. We have the knowledge we have gifts unique to each of us. We trust that, right? But how can we express it? I've observed many artists, writers and creatives around me who play in different mediums and settings to try to find that magical sweet spot where the work really looks, sounds and feels like their own. Sometimes I find myself satisfied and sometimes I can see where I need to grow.

So what's the deal? Why does the universe seem to serenade us when we hit the mark and create from our guts, or when we make radical decisions from our power centers? When we strike upon the holy bell that tones through us, when we tap the most precious resource of who we are and what we're about, all the fairies do a happy dance and make the flowers bloom.

Do you ever find that you have to take a break from looking at or listening to what everyone else is doing in order to hear your own voice? I do. I don't want to be influenced by others amazing thought processes, rituals, color palettes or rousing poetry when I'm tending my soul's vision, and feeling vulnerable and wide open. Tracking my own inspiration requires my attention. Tough to do when there is so much uplifting work flowing around a body.

It can be very tricksy. Yet, I have a grounded belief that when we're doing exactly what we do best, living our dreams, and not someone else's, or wearing a mask of their vision- then lead becomes gold, if only until it's time to begin again. It is the reward we receive when we've tuned our wild ear to the strings playing in our own divine and worthwhile hearts.

For me, it comes down to trusting what I sense. When the Muse's voice starts whispering ludicrous and untimely suggestions up at me, I've been making notes, promising to honor her and get back to them as soon as I can. Meanwhile trying not to call her crazy. I keep proceeding, as I've said before, with my walking stick forged of trust.

I know the way. I know it when I feel it. This is a gift we all have.

Eyes up, nose to the ground.

Let It Find You

 

Stand still.
The trees before you and the bushes beside you are not lost.
Wherever you are is a place called Here,
And you must treat it as a powerful stranger,
Must ask permission to know it and be known.
The forest breathes. Listen. It answers,
I have made this place around you,
If you leave it you may come back again saying Here.
No two trees are the same to Raven.
No two branches the same to Wren.
If what a tree or a bush does is lost on you,
You are surely lost. Stand still. The forest knows
Where you are. You must let it find you.

David Wagoner

 

How has this holiday weekend been like a sacred space around you?