Pink Coyote

Welcome Magical October and Medicine Giveaway

Thank you all so much for your sweet, wise and supportive comments about Bee and Miles. I am feeling so much stronger for it. I love this community so dearly.

This week I'm super excited to give away this beautiful Forest Sprite deerskin pouch.

Before I get down to business, I also want to mention that there are exactly five card decks left after the Squam raid, and they can be found in my shop now. It'll be a few weeks before the next batch comes in, so grab 'em while they're hot.

Now, it is with proud relief that I announce that there are officially no more medicine bundles available in my shop for sale. Because the good news is that I've evolved into full time teaching of how to discover and create your own medicine by my heart's own hearth, the SouLodge (the Autumn Session is coming up on October 31 and filling quickly). This has felt like the right direction for me to go, as the intensity of new energy among women is building, and Trust that we know our own way is becoming a common language between us. My invitation to you is to accept your own power to go in, dig deep and goldmine for that inner medicine. What is coming up in these sessions (I'm hosting a private one right now, as well) is really astounding, and I'll share some of what women are saying here soon soon.

I've put in a shiny lump of hematite-for magic, reflection, grounding, for removing self-limitation, for confidence building, and soul protection.  And Lauren has graciously offered up a quartz point, which brings an offering of self-healing, removing negative energy, and clarity. I've also included some white sage leaves to bump that purification up a notch further, and really assist in dissolving those aspects that are ready to be released into the psychic compost pile and create room for something new to come into being.

Leave a comment here to enter, and if you feel called to, please share what you would most like to release down into Mama Earth as we pull inward with the changing season- or for those of you who live where Spring is quickening, release up and out into the fresh sky. Check back next Wednesday to see if you're the lucky winner.

So many blessings to all of you, as this fine and magickal month opens up her simmering brew of possibility to us all.

Squam Snapshot

I'm home...ahhhhh. And determined to try my very dangdest to allow this one to be *gentle*.

There'll be PLENTY more to say about what was the most transformative SAW of all for me-as the week goes on, I'll spill over out of my cup some of what filled me up about this magical gathering. Plentiful art, heartful breakthroughs, new language, dancing on the frontiers of ideas...I'm full. Full up. Pardon my fragmented run-ons, as it all swirls.

If you attended Squam this Fall, and need to know how to access the SAW Animal Totem Workshop, email me! I'll get you all set up.

Here are a few gushy teasers I can't hold back, however, and must be paraded through town now. I'm going to shamelessly name drop, because Squam is so about a whole bunch of awesome people in one beautiful wood, and the interconnectedness of ALL of us.

Having happy birthday sung to me by over a hundred hot artists as I walked up to the Longhouse for group photo.

Speedboating out to Rattlesnake Island with Maya Hackett of urbanorganica, my comrade in shedding of old skins and massive *whoa mama* rebirth.

The staff are the very best and most helpful people in the world. I want to bring them all home with me because I fear I may never see some of them again.

Lying on the docks and jumping in the frigid lake with Flora Bowley. I had no idea I was going to fall so deeply in love with this woman. She altered my cellular makeup.

Learning so much about The Care and Keeping of Artists from my roommate extraordinaire, Jen Lee. I need to tattoo the entire content of the book up and down my arms.

Not cooking or cleaning. I never take that one for granted for a minute.

Laughing my ASS off with my second-time roommate, Maya Donenfeld. If I told you about our shenanigans, I'd have to kill you. She's wild under that burlap exterior, in the most honest and funny way. Plus, she's one of the most nurturing and caring women I've ever had the pleasure of being separated from at birth.

The fires. Something about the woodfires and the lake ice in the old iceboxes makes me feel like I'm at camp in the twenties. Everything my eye sees is picture-perfect and timeless.

Eating, dancing, conversing and simply being near Misty Mawn. It's like being in the company of an angel. She's an archetype all her own.

The Fox that ran through the wood right next to the building I taught in. It had a wee critter in it's mouth and was on a serious mission to dine. I wanted to grab my camera, but it was one of those moments that I would have missed had I tried to immortalize it. She was grey and beautiful and gave me much food* for thought for the remainder of the weekend. Partly because of this.

Generosity! I received so many unexpected surprises, some birthday related and some not.  I love the cycle of giving and receiving. It feels so good to send abundance around the circle, doesn't it?

I'm going to have to talk about my students later. Because they are a blessing that need their very own post. The women. The women!! I'm always blown completely away by what takes place in these workshops. Metamorphosis. Honoring. Rites of passage. Stepping out of fear and into power. I LIVE for this.

Elke said:  "I wanted to thank you again for the amazing experience of being in your presence, under your guidance and in your support.  You are such a grounded, wise, and inspiring woman.  And an excellent teacher to boot!!  You glide between inspiring us, to challenging us, to supporting us, to kicking us in the pants!  It was perfect".

So much to share. Such very big movement and gentle waves to ride it on. 

Wild News

There is so much wild seed flying out on the wind right now! An incredible spirit of creation and manifestation is taking place. This is just a little sample of what's fallen onto my path this weekend. Please share your finds in the comments and let's have a free-for-all!

I love Connie's new video AND she has two more sessions of BIG:: A Fearless Painting Adventure offered this year. She is a creative force to be reckoned with.

Stephanie Levy, the uber-talanted multi-tasker behind Artists Who Blog, has just launched Creative Courage, a comprehensive course in building your creative confidence, featuring twelve special guests (ahem) and a virtual trip to Venice, Italy. I'm so excited to see how Stephanie executes this- if anyone can do it, she can!

I might be a little late to the party, but I was very excited to flop onto the sofa at my parent's house, flip through a Land of Nod catalog, and see Marisa Haedike's piece, The Buddy System, jump off the page at me!

If you dig the rebellious work and spirit of Keri Smith as I do, you'll be happy to get out of your own way and Wreck This App.

If you tweet, you may know about Kinfolk Magazine. All I know is  that if Molly Wizenberg has her hand in the mix, I'm buying. She's got the magic gift of aesthetic and tasty eats.

I just downloaded Seeing in the Dark, by Dr. Estes, and would love to know if you've listened, and what you think. Clarissa P. is causing my weekly drives to Ojai to be another opportunity to ponder the mysteries of our shadows. Plus her voice is like a fairy godmother's, and who doesn't need that?

Postscript: Seeing in the Dark is much more about seeing with the eyes of a wisewoman, enlightened vision! Even better!

Giveaway at Roots of She

It doesn't take much to excite me at Roots of She. Jenn Gibson gathers some powerful, wild wolf women in her space! I'm thrilled that she is hosting a giveaway of TWO of my card decks this week. Come over and play with us!

VLOG Sacred Tools: Working with Crystals

At long last, and thank you for your patience! Now that I have the kinks worked out, we can start talking e-course. Yipppeeeee! Awrooooooooooooooooooo!

 

 

The crystals featured in the video are a selenite wand, a chunk of raw rose quartz, and an amethyst formation from inside of a geode.

The Owl wing is from a Barn Owl, which I use in intuitive work because of Owl's ability to cross easily from one realm to the other, and because she brings magic and femininity to all that she touches.

I read from Sandra Ingerman's book, Medicine From the Earth.

 

Thank you all again for your love, patience, and curiosity for the Earth and her magical ways. Bless...

 

grateful list

yes, i am stiiiiiiill integrating. one reason being is that a handful of big things are brewing for my family as well as for me and it feels a bit like big shift overload. in the best way, but you know how it is when a lot blossoms at once? all i can do is sit in the gratitude of it, in the right side of my brain and not force the analytics. a day at the beach and the spectacular little village of ojai with brandon and the kids is helping me to stay in that space.

gRateFuLL

for balance of masculine and feminine forces

for surrender and the flow of goodness that always follows

for help

for new friends and their divine guidance

for happy pants and my fairy's first toenail painting

for plants that ground and mama birds that remind me how to feed my chicks

for blessed one-on-one contact

for non-superficiality

for naps and lucid dreaming

for reassurance that the circle is a spiral and each time i re-visit a place, it's with new wisdom

for hollowed out trees and elvish boys who fearlessly climb into them

for cooler temperatures and consignment store sweaters that save the day

for peacock colored linen pants for $6

for summer plans with my favorite women

for cottonwood bud salve from herbmama that smells good enough to eat

for the kind of connections that only smiling fate brings

for mango sausage and perfect over-medium eggs

for exciting new paths with places to plant and grow

for twists of kismet and perfect crossings

for patient customers and abundance

for knowing what we need, and asking for what we want

for transformation that begins when we say, "YES"

for surprises in the mail that topple obstacles

for transparency and non-judgement

for ego-strength and willingness to learn beyond the current scope

for berry picking in the warm sun and big-wheeled wagons to tote them in

for my mom's flexibility

for my dad's quiet support

for those who have passed and meet us in council on the Otherside

for taking the time to process

for sleeping on it

for allowing life to lead

for warm honeyed vocals and unexpected island ukeleles

for young, wise ones who *see*

for the stories that keep us alive

for bold.wild.trust. and the people who inspire it in me

 

 

 

 

 

First Moments at Squam

I'm home! And what an unbelievable time at SAW this year.

I'll be posting in great detail this week about what came up, what the workshops were like, what JUNE was like (!) because there are some differences between the Spring and Fall sessions. I have some announcements about other classes I'm teaching here on the west coast, and I'll share those really soon as well. Okay, here's a teaser. But I'll tell more. Soon. I just need to catch my breath and snuggle some babies up.

The feeling I came back with is one of such deep gratitude. Of course there'll be a list about that coming, too.

Enjoy this photo tease, in the interim. The snapshots are from my first blissful couple of hours there.

I pulled up to my cabin and fell immediately in love.

Then I walked inside and fell in love with our screened in porch.

Then I came home from setting up my classroom and fell in love with my roommate.

It's so good to be back!

*grateful

fine art print by the amazing rachel awes of all i did was listen.

 

the last two weeks have been on spin cycle for me, as i have pulled through the eye of a very unlikely and small needle in a matter of my life that has been very tough for about a year now. coming to the other side has left me feeling extremely quiet and vulnerable, capital V, and humbled. it is also as if a very bright light is shining all over the world and everywhere i turn there are unexpected colors and possibilities. it has felt like waking up...again. all i feel and can share is how grateful i am for this life, this deep process of unearthing and detangling, holding up this little light of mine and merging with aspects of spiritSelf that keep calling me forth. so...a list.

i'm bursting with gratitude for:

love

for women who know how to take care of themselves and in doing so, take care of the world

for the natural state of things

for the divine harmonies of mamuse and r.i.s.e

for campfires and the smell that stays in my hair and on my clothes

for trust that outlives the conflict

for friends living by example and risking it all for their dreams

for friends who tell it like it is

for wooden bowls and spoons to make "salad" from grass, dandelions and mud

for chiliquiles on mother's day

for wild ideas

for artists who believe in each other

for customers who tell me their stories

for the perfect ten dollar easel

for turquoise retro chairs on ebay

for long drives up highway one

for her boldness and his love of hugging her and kissing her toes

for them even when they don't say what i want them to

for kings, queens, cups and wands

for the first zucchini

the best reincarnated dog in the world

for cohousing and friends who stand at my worktable and proclaim that i live in an "oasis"

for impassioned creators who use their work for the good of humankind

for answering the call, following the smoke signals

for non-judgement when i fumble

for someone to lean into when i want so much to hold myself up the old way

for eagle feathers, storytellers, corn races, snowcones

for the writer who looks at my work and says, "I've been looking for you for a looooong time"

for eager students

for MOVEMENT, glorious movement all over this plane

for beet salad and goat cheese, arugula and course black pepper the size of seeds

for mockingbirds like nightowls, his bat drawings, and ospreys with messages

for creatures that come to greet my friend each time we speak on the phone

for tristan and iseult, psyche and eros, parisfal, and alice

for the friend who hugs me when i'm sick and doesn't fear for my germs

for Mother Ocean who breaks on the shore with no talkin' and all action

for amazing suppliers who love my business and go the extra mile

for wild ideas ideas ideas at naptime (the best kind)

for licorice mint tea and the fortunes they come with

for the hanged man

nanny mcphee, tim burton, and johnny depp

for druid circle cookies and borrowed popcorn

for laying down the sword and picking up the goblet

for romance and openheartedness

for adventure and passports

for coconut mojitos and first friday

for handholding and neck nibbles

for family bedtime stories and misbehaving

for stones that vibrate in my hand, rose quartz that reminds me to love myself unconditionally

for dreaming, scheming and allowing it to unfold

for letting go, always for letting go

for the cage and the will to break through it for something better

for salty salami and cheese on squishy rolls

for my body, this agreeable vessel which still leaps with friends for fun and gets me from place to place

and for you, inspirited readers, who come here day in and out to connect, to be inspired or be given permission, to forgive yourselves or just to have a trickster's laugh. i can no longer come here without profound gratitude for YOU.

photo by terri fischer

 

burning woman*

i'm too tired to capitalize, i'm sorry, friends. my beltane weekend away brought so so much teaching, movement and unexpected growth. best moments were cackling it up under the stars around a fire with some amazing women who traveled a long way to play with me and my local wild women. most surprising was coming home a day early to tend to my own homefire.

here is a photo journal of some of my favorite moments...

the day began with picking up my cohorts and going out for the absolute BEST veggie burgers and fries ever in the world at r&d, on montana ave. in santa monica. if you're in the neighborhood, do not pass them up. the food is magical. i wish i'd snapped the mascarpone and berries for you to drool over.

 

terri working her henna skillz on kirsten.

and again on julie...

 

beach shenanigans, which involved wine drinking and cheerleading jumps in the ocean.

terri, kirsten and julie.

photo by terri

altar building

talking stickin'

tarot card readin'

it was a weekend of laughter and merriment, but also one of deep emotional processing and exhaustion. it is said that beltane is all about fertility, may day, as it were. i would say we covered some pretty fertile territory, unearthed some deep roots, shifted our perspectives and learned a lot about what we have to let go. what i tried to bear in mind on this adventure was to know what i needed and ask for what i want. isn't that sometimes the hardest thing to do? to claim what's already yours-and to stand in the confidence of that decision?

i plan to go camping (or glamping as one husband had referred to it, as his wife journeyed toward) each beltane and for every natural holiday that i possibly can. i love that there is purpose in these days that mark mid-spring and solstices, that there is a history there to add to the toolkit for growing and learning. sometimes the lesson is to sit still and stop growing! and i embrace those teachings, too, as i tend to get easily obsessed with movement. however, this time movement swept me up and away without warning, and through the eye of a very small needle.

i hope that your holy day of fires on the mountain found you releasing the old and making way for the new, in one way or another, dramatically or softly.

I Virtually Love You

Blurry and imperfect, me and Nina Beana in Portsmouth New Hampshire for ETA last Fall.

It's been a while since I've ranted frothily here, so in the spirit of intimacy, I'm going to give it a go.

I have crushed on many bloggers and artists since my capacity to virtually love increased one millionfold six years ago. And the subject has come up among peers again and again, the notion that how someone appears online is never who they really are. I don't want to spoil anyone's lofty vision of anyone else, because I believe there is a purpose in idolotry to a certain extent. It helps us strive to claim that power within us that they seem to personify and reflect back at us.

[Insert random thought] If it wasn't late at night, I would go snapping photos of how imperfect my own life is to demonstrate. Baseboards undusted for ....er... months? Laundry heaped up. Gunk on fridge shelves. A checkbook with gaps between entries for things I know I've forgotten and need to check online banking to decode. Piles. More piles. Half finished supplies orders. Children's toys all over the floor of my studio. My studio space is appearing extremely un-sacred in this moment. Nine large post-its of to-do's. In a world where so many of us value that one has one's proverbial shit together, I am earning about a C minus. But still, I feel valued, adored even, in this space. Which perhaps goes to show that the gunk doesn't matter as much as the heart, but still. I know because I'm guilty of it, too: we project perfection. But I digress yet again.

Here's my beef, and it has nothing to do with comparing our weaknesses to what we perceive a virtual acquaintance's strengths to be. What is disheartening is that I've experienced with several real life friends a false sense of intimacy with me because they follow my blog or tune into my feeds at social network sites. Even my own mother is guilty of it. (Hi, Mom.) Twice in a month I've lost touch with a couple of friends that do not have the online presence that I do. When I've shared with them that I feel disconnected, both of them explained that they have felt connected to me because they read my blog or posts, etc.

This leaves me sad. The reason is because a virtual experience is no substitute for really knowing someone or checking in with them to connect, at least voice to voice, if not face to face. While life is full of busy challenges that I can more than relate to, I just want to point out-not that I want more from these folks-but that it isn't the same. Appreciating the work Misty Mawn does (one of my artistic heroes) is not the same as telling her so in a personal email (at very least). Seeing my grieving friend pour out her heart on her blog about loss is not the same as calling her and asking if she wants to cry in my ear. Admiring my cousin's new baby on Facebook is not the same as making time to meet her or hear her cooing on the other end of the phone line.

I'm asking myself to take a deeper look at how much I rely on technology to keep me connected. I'm happy to report that I have dates to camp with an amazing close group of warrioresses at the end of the month, catch a show with a friend I have a mostly virtual relationship with, help another one pack to move to her dream home, and sit in sacred ceremony with a handful of local medicine people mid-month. If not for these "dates" on the calendar, I think I'd be feeling very out of balance.

Blessed we are to have this space to connect to each other online, but I am also responding to a wild, deeeep yearning within to get my arms around those I hold dear, kiss their babies, take them food, send them on their journeys, see them loving their partners, and touch their art in person.

Because I'll be at June and September SAW and October SERENDIPITY, I will be face-to-face with many of you. And that's how I like to connect best. I like to hug and cuddle, what can I say? Blessed, blessed, blessed. We are so blessed.

The Mystic Vixen formerly and affectionately known as Blue Poppy,
Elizabeth Macrellish, and I, Squam Art Workshops Vendor Night, 2009.

Serendipity Retreats at the Outer Banks

I'm so pleased to be teaching in October at this retreat, in the amazing company of three women who I greatly admire. The Outer Banks of North Carolina is a place I've always wanted to visit- the magical lure of the folklore captivates me. Explore the website to meet the guides and see if it speaks to you...

Serendipity Retreats is the creation of wildchild Michelle Madden Smith, of Blissful Thinking. What I love about her vision is that the time spent there will leave plenty of room to explore your wild soul and ask the important questions which will lead you to unexpected and wondrous answers...

Join us!

 

Doorways

Wherever I roam, I find that I come home with photos of doors. The older and more weathered, the better. The attraction must have something to do with my willingness to walk into something new, risky. It takes trust, and I'm big on that right now.

This may be one reason why I love Lisa Field-Elliot's website...it reads and feels like an invitation to trust the process of this adventure-filled life.

When I went to a poetry evening with Maya Stein last year, she spoke frequently of, "the way in." As creators, we are searching for a way in. Access. Travel from the outside to the inner rooms, realms, secret closets, attics and pantries. Where the fertile soil lies hidden.

Not knowing what is on the other side, we've all found ourselves standing outside the proverbial doorway (to more information, if not the answer) wondering whether we want to know what lies beyond the click of the knob.

What I'm imagining, more now than before, is not to gain understanding or to comprehend my experiences, which are of the past as soon as they've happened. I've hopefully given up that fruitless pursuit. But to find a way to thrive amidst whatever lies behind the threshold I choose to walk through. I seek acceptance that can be discovered, received, without an intellectual bludgeoning needing to take place. To *move with fluidity* beckons through these days of young babes, new work, different levels of energy, than I had ten years ago. It feels particularly feminine to trust this and to let go the analytics.

I carry with me to my bed-nest tonight hope not to repeat the mistakes that initiated me into this complicated adulthood-and when I do, to softly thread myself back into the weft of thriving life without seamripping myself in the process.

Each road I travel, there is a doorway at every turn.

That's a bounty of metaphor for one post.

 

Vlog Sacred Tools: Medicine Pouch

Here's another informal backyard vlog on using sacred medicine tools. This time I take you on a quick tour through stuffing my pouch to get ready for an overnight trip. Can you tell I'm in a bit of a hurry to get packed and on the road? I still haven't sorted out how to set up the camera for the best view and so I'll try to work the kinks out there before I make the next one.

I also share a bit of the drum for a teaser of what the trance beat is like when one takes a traditional shamanic journey, as promised. The drum sounds a bit flat on the video, but it actually has a nice deep resonance. If you feel called to find a drum for yourself, be sure to play lots of them. There will be a sound and size that feels just perfect for you.

To learn more about shamanic journeywork, try Michael Harner's Way of the Shaman or Sandra Ingerman's Soul Retrieval. Both detail the purpose of taking shamanic journeys, as well as how they are conducted in a sacred manner. If you'll be attending Call of the Wild, my mixed-media workshop at Squam Art Workshops in September, you'll get a little taste of what the journey is like for yourself.

To learn more about animal totems and begin the path toward integrating the wild creatures into your spirit practice, check out Ted Andrews' Animal Speak or Animal Wise. There are a lot of great card decks that explore animal symbolism, as well, and a quick search at Amazon or your local metaphysical shop will produce colorful options for divining animal wisdom. If you have a great resource for animals, please share it in the comments. Sometimes I find old books at the library on a particular species and that gives a nice depth. We can learn so much from creatures just by observing them, as many of you already do.

I don't think you could see the beautiful purple earrings I'm wearing, but I'm wild about them. They were crafted by Celisa Nalls of MySoulCanDance and when I opened the package, I could feel joy leaping out at me. The adornments we wear, or talismans we're drawn to help tap us into our intuitive nature, too. The creations we make with our hands vibrate with the energy that we bring to the worktable, and that creates a ripple of light that never ends. It's such a blessing to have access to so many gifted and inspirited artisans.

The sacred Lakota corn was given to me by Lauren Luquin of Visionwise. One of the best things about meeting others on this path is that we get to share tools and honor one another with gifts to add to the ever-expanding toolkit for healing ourselves and the Earth.

On my travels to the coast this weekend, I might leave behind any one of the items in my pouch as an offering to the earth. It is traditional practice to leave tobacco as an offering or a tiny crystal, such as the amethyst one I tucked in there. The lavender buds or the corn would also be a nice way to thank the Earth and Spirit for the gifts and healing they bring.

Please consider the comments section a forum for questions and sharing of stories. We all benefit from hearing others sing with their authentic voices.

Thank you for honoring the medicine and howling up this beautiful Wolf Moon we're seeing!

Left My Soul There

 

January and February are my favorite months to visit Big Sur. I've been retreating there alone and with friends for many years and I always feel such excitement when I start to pack my bags. For one thing, it combines the warm sand of our southern beaches with the vibe of an enchanted fairy garden, redwoods, tons of art, cozy canyon cafes, and funky, beatnik rooms.

In a nutshell, it's heaven on earth for my soul. I can feel myself reconnecting as I wind the car up the Pacific Coast Highway, into the hairpins that overlook the turquoise water with seals bobbing their heads up and down. I've done a lot of healing on those cliffs, and so I go there full of gratitude for what it is offered me in respite and soulfulness and open to what it's magic will impart this time.

I'm going with a friend to work, which basically means: play with cameras, brainstorm our dreams out loud, and drink wine. I can already feel that fluttery feeling of my soul calling up joyfully, knowing that soon we'll have our toes in the sand and the rest of the world behind us.

In my stead, I have an interview up at Katrina Dreamer, which I'm quite proud about, because I admire so much the work that Katrina has done and is doing. I had the good fortune of retreating with her in 2006 and it's been a beautiful sight to witness her courageously claiming her voice as a teacher and nurturer of the Earth.

I also really loved this blog entry by Lisa Field-Elliot, there is a raw truth burning in there that's stayed with me all day since I read it, which I'm still turning over on the flame.

Rachel, of 6512 and growing, is someone whom you will love reading, especially if you're a mom. She is hilarious and can turn the most mundane sequence of events into a tea-spitting, howling occasion. She's a gardening, homesteading and stovetop inspiration to shame even Mary Jane Butters, as well.

And if you don't quite feel as outdoorsy as you'd yet like to, check out the soulful experiment in communal living at Tipi Village, which I found after much time spent reading the archives at Ande's and Kayla's Rogue Dwellings blog. Take a look at the sewing machine they assemble their tipis on!

 

 

soul

+ 

wild woods

+

crashing waves

and maybe

a beer with the ghost of Henry Miller

=

my kind of weekend

What It Was Like

This month I had the incredible opportunity to sublet a corner of an artist's studio in Los Angeles. While working on the pieces for ETA 8, I was able to feel what it was like to work in a space meant for getting down to business. The space belongs to Gus Harper, a sweet and extremely gifted artist, who was kind enough to allow me to jump on the bandwagon with a few other prolific creatives and utilize his workspace while he was away on summer travels abroad.

I love this video of Gus at work on one of his grid paintings:

I drove a three hour round trip to get there, and put in about eight hours a day while I was there twice a week. Sometimes I wore my headphones, blasting my favorite energetic painting mixes, or I'd put in a pair of earplugs to get that ambient seashore sound to really get into a trance.

One of the benefits of being there was that there is little-to-no art movement in the town in I reside in. So to work among such motivated creatives, such as my spacemate and friend Christine was very inspiring. A set designer came by one day and bought four of our pieces straight off the walls, bound for a new midseason series soon airing on FOX. So L.A.-so fun.

Having lived there for eleven years, I recall the energy of being in a city like this. It was great fun to come home to peace, after thriving and energizing amidst the urban chaos-the best of both worlds.

It was really splendid to not care about spilling paint on the floor, being able to get really messy, leave my table set up covered in disorganized madness and know that no one in my home would be bothered by it or painting the walls when I wasn't looking. I was also able to play more, put some time into experimenting with textures and colors with all of the time I had, rather than feeling pinched to work only after the children's bedtimes.

It was an unforgettable and productive experience, one I hope to be able to create again before the holidays.

Juice

I have to report that I am LOVING working in a neighborhood where there is food this good and this good and this good. The Argentinian jewel is literally 2 skips down from our beautiful blue building and oh. my. goddess. Heaven in an empanada! How I love your flaky outer and spicy oniony innards.

I've also become smitten with another blogger and am so inspired by a post called resistance -by Monica of Holistic Mama. Her outlook on the shadow sides of the astrological elements did something for me. My chart is very earthy and there's no water anywhere in it, I now have another way of looking at this issue with vulnerability that I have. Shedding, flowing...moving around the obstacles without strife, yes. All part of this leg of life for me. With each great wide opening comes inevitable vulnerability against which I tend to brace first and surrender second.

The work is materializing. It is coming forth with it's very own voice and messages. I notice that about 60% of the way through a creation, I no longer have much say in what the meaning or messages are. I am asked to step out of the way and so I do, though not without concerns about consistency as an artist, color palette issues, my connection to the work, very superficial ego stuff.

B and I watched Sherlock Holmes last week and I was surprised, no, shocked, that I (media hermit) had no clue that it was a Guy Ritchie film. When I saw the credit, the style of his films came rushing back one at a time and I had an even greater appreciation for his storytelling consistency and flair. I wondered about my own expressions. And then had to let those questions go. Because no matter how I see my work, I know that no one else sees it as myopically as I do. And, does it really matter, in the end? No. Of course it doesn't.

I spoke with a blogging mama bud this morning and we discussed how with our first child, there was a fear (at least there was for me), and an anxiety about getting everything just right for him. I poured myself into motherhood like a healthy smoothie into a tall, clear glass with the confidence that only an overzealous (nut) new mother has. When Ivy came to me, I felt an ease and a surrender. Surrender to the madness of having two, surrender to the fact that I would likely not be birthing any more children. Welcoming the completion with a sniffle, but jumping right into my creative pool, as well. The evolution of family, art and self truly fascinates me.

I enjoy being on this path so much. With each day that I get to wake up safe and healthy, mother my children the way I choose to, make art that means something to me, and swim in the juice of my cherished relationships, ...well...this is a very, very good day to live.

Interview & Workshop

Lauren has posted an interview with yours truly here. So grateful she took the time to ask fun questions! Thank you, LL.

Registration has opened at Wishstudio for her new online lovechild, online art playgroup! This is going to be so much fun- she's made it super affordable and lined up some wonderful artists to make creating with the babes an inspiring Fall treat. I'll be teaching my Spirit Dolls workshop with Miles, in which we will walk you through the forest collecting "supplies" and then show you how to assemble a beautiful little totem representing aspects you and your child love to share.

Come play!

Know The Place

"Explorer" (scanned greeting card) by Anahata Joy Katkin

What do you think T.S. Eliot meant when he said this?

It makes me think mostly of this mysterious year of two thousand and ten. A year which I began full of so much hope for movement of my Chariot. A year which I would deeply explore self-care, so that my well-being would equal the priority of my various duties. For once.

I suffer from distress at learning lessons the hard way...again and again until eventually, the experiences begin to rewire my thinking and my living. But the process can be so gradual with some things that I hardly feel the shift. And so disappointment comes and goes easily, clacking the screen door of my emotions behind him every time.

I hear my inner talk going from desperate questions to patient encouragement all day long, and on a long day of painting, as it was today, I caught myself mumbling my fears and questions out loud. My looming fear of the day is:

What if I take these medications for several more weeks or longer and my symptoms don't change or worsen? (The main symptom is a persistent, usually non-productive, cough, worse at night, with inflamed, narrowed airways that spasm dramatically during coughing fits...the meds are Fluticasone nasal mist and Qvar, an inhaled steroid).

I should share with you that I agreed to take the medications because it's now been six weeks of coughing, and the children are also suffering this. Presumably, this kind of cough-variant asthma can follow a bad bout with sinusitis/bronchitis, which plagued us from January through March. My idea is that I will be able to find out if prescription asthma medications are the best remedy by being the guinea pig, while treating the children homeopathically, with herbs, massage, and lots of fluids and rest. If it truly is asthma, it may only respond to the meds, but if it is a virus mimicking the symptoms of asthma, well, then, it will work it's way out of our systems eventually anyway.

In the meantime, I'm feeling uncharacteristically vulnerable and wide open to hearing all of your favorite immunity-building tips and products, as well as about your experiences with asthma and any other encouragement you may be able to scatter lovingly.

I'm hoping to know this place once and for all.

Thank you all for your support so far...it really does mean so much.

Pull Up a Chair

And enjoy my homage to art and mamas at Mindy's amazing little creative corner, the wishstudio...

Regularly Scheduled Program

Studio companion, carved of malachite (a gift from my teacher).

Painting is officially underway for the June show and I'm feeling good about the direction I'm going so far. Each time I begin a new series it's like having a baby on the fast track! Work with a vision, mix up some color, glue down some paper, and let go...

Here're some of tonite's layers (note Corn Maiden over on the right! Tee hee, didn't realize she wanted to make it into the photo so badly):

 

This is an especially fun series for several reasons. One of them is that it opens just a hundred miles from here so I'll be able to attend! I won't be in the third trimester phase of my brain-in-a-cave for another week or two, as I face the home stretch. I so enjoy this stage. I would liken it to being about 5-6 months pregnant, before the back aches and sleeplessness set in! The sparkly, glowing, everyone-thinks-you're-so-cute part.

I also wanted to clue you in about a prayer flag giveaway that Lauren of Visionwise is having at her blog. And share a pic of the necklace I received in the mail from her today! It is energized with many healing stones which my slowly recovering bones are in desperate need of. I love the originality of her work. It's unconventional in palette and form in some ways and that reflects a lot of who Lauren is. Please BEG her to make her music available to you while you are commenting to win the flags. Her beautiful, honest voice, soothing, uplifting poetry and organic ramble of her acoustic guitar will knock off your stockings.

 

In the Den

I am working on two pieces for an upcoming group show and tonite was really my first official night back in the studio to work on..."work" since January. It is unbelievable how much time can pass between creations when destiny has many other ideas for what life is really about around here.

I must say, though, that I am really excited about these two pieces. They involve a topic that I am very intimate with and so wrapped up in my heartstrings. This is unusual for me-painting a statement. The messages that come from my subjects when I paint are fun to receive, and tonite more than ever, I am feeling the hairs bristle up on my neck and my wild bits sniffing the wind while I work on bringing them to life. These dogs have been a long time comin'.

I have been dreaming more than usual about these creatures since we lost Blue, (who is so generous to visit me in the dreamtime) and I was gifted an extra serving of inspiration from Anna Marie last week, which is helping me knit up my vision with even more gusto. It also helped that I reached into a random bag of collage papers, not even knowing if collage was what I wanted to do... and pulled out a very old map that fit perfectly into the scenes. I love it when the Muse is guiding my hand!

In minutes, I'll be piled up with my pack: a gangly, long-legged loner and a feisty, yet snuggly yearling pup. In my dreams, I hope to hear the yippings of these paintings telling me where we're headed next on this adventure...

Big Guns

Dude.

There is only one way to begin this entry and that is with one word.

DUDE.

I've been absent here half of last week because, believe it or not, the acute bronchitis is back with a vengeance. First me, then the babes.

I assure you that more radical changes are being implemented.

First, I bought these two books:

I opted for a newer book on an old subject because I need to get to work fast, as opposed to reading about the history of macro and the science behind acid/alkali yin/yang balance. I've been bugging my friends for those details!

 

 

And this one because I've had it in my wishlist forever and because it's known for the chapter on healing moods with foods. Promising enough for me to want to try.

While I'm anxiously awaiting their arrival, I'm priming my family by taking away all of the foods that they love! Well, Miles is the one who is really having to make adjustments. It seems I've really slipped with him. You see, he's very persistent and quite a logical debater about his preferences. Convincing chase he does give in order to get what he wants. And I fall for his big brown eyes every time. His techniques combined with year one of baby number two have made me weak at my game. Instant oatmeal has become a staple with a big dollup of organic, sugar free peanut butter-his favorite breakfast. With fresh berries on the side, I've even fooled myself into believing he is a pretty healthy eater.

Oh boy.

Years ago, a dear friend experienced a major boost in her health, which included an adjustment of her post-thyroid cancer medication. Here are the contents of an email she sent me this morning excerpted from Michio Kushi's and Alex Jack's book The Macrobiotic Path to Total Health:

Healing Diet # 1 for more yin conditions is as follows:

1) Avoid all extreme yin foods and beverages, including sugar, chocolate, honey, milk, butter and other dairy products, white rice, flour, etc., excessive fruits and fruit juices (except a little stewed apple cooked with a pinch of sea salt), including potatoes, tomatoes, and peppers.

2) Avoid all extreme yang foods including meat, eggs, salted cheese, seafood.

3) Avoid or reduce all hard baked flour products such as bread, crackers, cookies and pastries, except for occasional unyeasted or unsweetened whole-grain sourdough bread, if craved

4) Eliminate all chemicalized or artificially produced and treated foods and beverages.

5)Avoid all foods cooked on electric stove or microwave.

6) Minimize oil for 1-2 months; use only sesame or olive oil sparingly.

7) Avoid raw salads for 1 mo or until condition improves; eat boiled salads where you lightly boil or steam vegetables in layers and eat with a little shoyu and whole grain noodles if you want.

8) Avoid all ice-cold foods and drinks on ice.

9) In general the cooking for a yin condition may be slightly stronger than usual and use a little more sea salt, miso, or shoyu in cooking.

10) Eat whole grains in whole form as the main portion of the diet (50-60% of daily consumption). The first day prepare pressure-cooked shortgrained brown rice. The next day prepare brown rice pressure cooked with 30% millet. The third day prepare brown rice with 30% barley. The fourth day, prepare brown rice with 30% adzuki beans or lentils. The fifth day, prepare brown rice again. Boiling may be alternated or substituted for pressure-cooking (put a small piece of kombu in water when you cook it for seasoning). Morning porridge can be made by taking leftover rice and adding a little more water to soften, simmering for a few minutes and then adding 1 tsp. of miso per cup of grain at end of cooking. Oats should be avoided for first month, but you can use different grains like wheat berries, rye, and corn. Both udon and soba noodles or other whole grain noodles and pasta may be eaten 2-3 times per week (with miso).

11) Eat 1-2 servings of soup each day, mostly miso with wakame, onions, carrots, daikon, shitake. Grain soups also okay. Butternut squash soup a good choice. Make your own vegetable broth for cooking soups (onion, carrot, celery, root greens).

12) 30% of diet should be vegetables: leafy greens such as collards, kale, turnip greens; sweet round veggies such as squash, onions and cabbage and root veggies such as carrots, daikon, burdock, parsnips. You can add dried tofu, tofu, tempeh, mochi or seitan with vegetables 2 times/week.

13) 5% beans: adzuki, lentils, chickpeas, black soy beans cooked with kombu and small amount of onion and carrot.

14) Pickles made at home, i.e., daikon, cabbage, carrots (You can get a little pickle press from Japanese markets or in Little Tokyo)

15) White fish may be eaten once a week, if craved, steamed, boiled or poached, garnished with fresh grated daikon or ginger to aid in digestion.

16) Drink bancha twig tea as the main beverage. Do not drink coffee. Use good spring water. One to 2 cups of fresh carrot or other vegetable juice may be taken once a week.

17) Avoid overeating or overdrinking. Avoid late-night snacks or eating within 3 hours of sleeping.

No problem, right?

Yesterday and today, I made a lovely broth to drink by boiling cabbage, butternut squash, carrot and onion. I strained it and drank it like clear tea. I'm also taking licorice tea for the bronchitis and lobelia capsules (Indian tobacco) to reduce the inflammation of the branches of my poor bronchial tree.

I'll keep you posted on how we do. Working up to the grain requirement is going to be tough. One thing I did discover is that goat's milk products are alkalinizing (yang), whereas cow's milk is acid (yin). Needless to say, I discovered shredded goat's mozzarella and butter at the health food store and since I don't have great tastebuds, they are working out famously. In major moderation, of course. It helps to have transitional items onhand. Once we get healthy, they may taste a bit goaty. Brandon thought the butter was indistinguishable, though.

I've been able to slip in some products without Miles noticing, but he has busted me on a few things- like goat yogurt and creamy cheese from Trader Joe's.

I also found some very yummy tofu and carob nutty cube thingies at our hfs which are helping to curb our collective sugar cravings. I may try making some of my own.

I'd love to know if any of you eat macro or a raw food diet and what led you to it.

Starting Monday off with a bang, aren't I?

Postscript: My friend asked me to note (of course!) that this special "healing" diet is not what macrobiotics looks like once the body becomes healthy. It serves to clean out the system and reset the acid/alkaline balance in beginners. In her words, "the basic tenet for macrobiotic diet is to be able to eat whatever you want once you learn how to maintain a balance between yin and yang foods".

Creative Spirit

Sweet, spirited, Lauren of VisionWise is giving away this necklace this week, called Creative Spirit. I have two of Lauren's necklaces and also commissioned her to make a very special hemp and stone bracelet for a new Daddy in the clan recently, and I have been so happily thrilled with her work. She is a very special fire mama who puts amazing energy into her *works*. Stop in and enter!

I spent the entire evening clearing out my art studio and adding more to the donation pile-this time many, many skeins of unloved yarn. I've freed up my bins and organized them, which makes my little, obsessive-compulsive brain do a very happy dance.

My desktop could still use a bit of help, but it didn't stop me from working on a postcard for a student pen pal project I volunteered for. So nice to create for kids.

And when creativity is flowing, it seems to be flowing everywhere in this house. I love Miles obsession with globes. He has long loved drawing the planets, but lately he's been putting them all on stands! Dig the volcanic explosion happening down south.

Additionally, I'm intrigued this week by The Artistic Mother, by Shona Cole and Found City, by Keri Smith. Must make a found city with Miles!

Shona's recent article at Wishstudio, titled Art Makes Us Better Moms deserves a read.

Vasilisa the Beautiful

Imagine my delight when I opened up the beautiful gift sent to my daughter for her birthday by her Aunt Stevie (who hand-felted the doll):

Vasilisa is the story of a young girl whose good mother dies, and her father remarries a wicked stepmother with two horrible daughters who treat Vasilisa like a slave. Sound familiar?

As Vasilisa endures their torment and receives no protection from her weak, naive father, she keeps the doll her mother gave her tucked inside her apron.  The new regime of commanding voices which berate her, and keep her enslaved, are never ending and Vasilisa is not yet experienced enough to stand up to them.

She is sent on an impossible mission for fire one night, deep into the wilderness, to scary Baba Yaga's house. Vasilisa consults with the doll to find her way there and is comforted by it's presence in her apron. When she finally reaches the hags hut, Baba Yaga barks a list of unreasonable chores at her, planning to eat her when she fails. But the doll provides the magic help, and day after day, she guides Vasilisa and helps her meet Baba Yaga's requirements and is eventually given what she has come for.

The maid survived her dangerous journey, and that which tormented her was burned away in the fire she returned with, thanks to the blessing given to her as a birthright. Her inner knowing and guidance, symbolized by the doll, sends her the message again and again that "The morning is brighter than the evening". She alchemically transforms her own destiny by trusting and following her inner voice.

Being a woman is to go on a long journey, up and over frightful mountains and through dark valleys, listening to harsh voices that we eventually discover do not serve us- and hopefully arriving triumphantly at the place where our intuition speaks louder and more clearly, and our hearts take direction eagerly.

Today I am so grateful for the strong women and new life that surrounds me: for You, who are triumphant as you listen evermore closely to your own guiding voices. You, who enjoy knowing, more than pleasing others.

I am comforted to run into you now and again on the mossy and sometimes shaded foot trails of this path!

Necklove + Izzy Giveaway

I want to introduce you to my friend, Izzy, of Hawkstone Creations, who is a most amazing woman and stonesmith. She made this piece intuitively for me after an email conversation about what healing aspects I was trying to bring in. I love everything about it-the tiny little stones, their meanings, and the copper round in the middle.

Sharing other artist's work with you is something I love to do. When a gifted artisaness can create a piece based on all of the lovely little aspects she sees in another woman, the medicine seems that much more special. It is my belief that we are all one, that we all share the same journey in a way, and we are criss-crossing each others paths on the continuum so magically.

Izzy is hosting an incredible giveaway (she is so generous) at her blog, don't miss out! (I am coveting this piece in her shop)

Spring Offerings

It seems that this corner of bloggieland is aflame with energy of new Spring ideas that are sure to wake up the wintry consciousness! I'm so excited to see my sisters declaring their work and rolling up their sleeves to make a difference in their own lives, as well as others.

Here are some exciting offerings:

Christina Sbarro, of My Topography is using Kickstarter to fund her creation called A Field Guide to Now. I can't wait to see what she can do with this project! Watch her beautiful video and I dare you not to burn up with curiosity about what she can teach you.

Registration will soon be closing on Kate Swoboda's e-course, Your Courageous Life. I had the pleasure of speaking with Kate for an interview last week, and she has some very practical tools in store for those ready to step it up a notch and start taking some risks in 2010.

Karen Maezen Miller is having a scrumptious giveaway of two copies of her new book, Hand Wash Cold. She also has a gorgeous, soft, thoughtful video posted that has inspired me to start some laundry tonight.

Time is closing in on Squam Art Workshop's Spring Session, complete with Ravelry dames, for those who love handcrafting and textiles.

The  time is now to jump into wishstudio's Virtual Art Retreat, which is PACKED with classes, goodies and discounts on art supplies. Mindy Tsonas, the innovator behind wishstudio is just about to blow the doors off of the e-course format and I bow to the goddess of virtuality each time I visit her!

And this little fantasyland is my new favorite place to play! Stop in and dream with us at Imaginary Commune...

Go! Build your toolkit!

Interview at Artists Who Blog

 

Carribean Kitchen, by Stephanie Levy

Stephanie Levy is one of my favorite artists today. Her use of bold color and her linework blows my socks clean off. 

She has been kind enough to feature an interview with me at her website today-go here to read it!

Some of you have asked about original work (much gratitude!)-what is available now can be found here.

Have a wonderful weekend, all...

Table Scenes

From our weekend of love...

Lunch in the Tiki Trailer out in the driveway (Miles's idea)

 

Breakfast on sweetheart's day of chocolate chip pancakes made by Dad and devoured by all

Sweetheart luncheon outdoors at the local moo

 

Now that I'm feeling much snappier, Ivy is really sick with whatever hellsome virus I had. To quote my dear BP, I will be engaging in precious nada all week long while I nurse the wean back to health.

I will still make time for blogging, however.

Happy day, lovers....

More Heart, More Wolves, More Running

I am taking some time to create in a different way than making paintings. Creating new habits, new health, new dreams, new ambitions, new songs and stories. Working with heart energy is something I must do even when it is not Valentine's week.

To heal the heart is to heal the world. Share your heart medicine with me!

Heart-shaped Cactus, by Aimee Dolich.

"The psychological and physiological center is the heart. In Hindu Tantras, which are instructions from the Gods to humans, the heart is the Anahata chakra, the nerve center that encompasses feeling for another human being, feeling for oneself, feeling for the earth, and feeling for God. It is the heart that enables us to love as a child loves: fully, without reservation, and with no hell of sarcasm, depreciation, or protectionism."

-pg 169, WWRwTW.

River Santuario

"The creative force flows over the terrain of our psyches looking for the natural hollows, the arroyos, the channels that exist in us. We become its tributaries, its basins; we are its pools, ponds, streams and sanctuaries. The wild creative force flows into whatever beds we have for it, those we are born with as well as those we dig with our own hands. We don't have to fill them, we only have to build them.

Once  that great underground river finds its estuaries and branches in our psyches, our creative lives fill and empty, rise and fall, in seasons just like a wild river. These cycles cause things to be made, fed, fall back, and die away, all in their own right time, and over and over again.

Creating one thing at a certain point in the river feeds those who come to the river, feeds creatures far downstream, yet others in the deep. Creativity is not a solitary movement. That is its power. Whatever is touched by it, whoever hears it, sees it, senses it, knows it, is fed. That is why beholding someone else's creative word, image, idea, fills up, inspires us to our own creative work. A single creative act has the potential to feed a continent. One creative act can cause a torrent to break through stone.

Wild Woman's river nurtures and grows us into beings that are like her: life givers. As we create, this wild and mysterious being is creating us in return, filling us with love. We are evoked in the way creatures are evoked by sun and water. We are made so alive that we in turn give life out; we burst, we bloom,, we divide and multiply, we impregnate, incubate, impart, give forth."

-excerpted from pgs 322-324, Women Who Run With the Wolves.